the secret of Erised {s.b.}

chapter 40: aftermath

A week had passed since the Death Eater's attack on what was formally the Order's headquarters. Although the sun shone brightly near the beach house, Esmeralda's days were grey. She had not left one of the chairs overlooking the ocean ever since Sirius and her had gone back to their house. She felt empty without her aunt. Perla had been more than an aunt to her, she was her only friend and confidante for a long time. She had been there for all of her firsts; her first steps, her first words, her first day at Hogwarts... It all felt so pointless now. Esmeralda had no idea how to live in a world without Perla Dragonstone in it.

She had hated herself for the first few days. How come her abilities only worked when they wanted and not when she wanted ? If they had worked that morning, then the Order would've been prepared for the attack and Perla, Clara, and other members of the Order wouldn't had died. But she knew nothing could bring back her aunt. 

Obsidiana flew towards Esmeralda and landed on her lap. The witch lightly stroked the tiny black owl as she continued to watch the waves go back into the ocean, oblivious to the letter the owl had dropped on her.

Sirius looked at her from inside of the house. His heart ached in his chest watching the person he loved the most broken and scared. He feared Esmeralda would not be the same after losing someone so important to her. Lily had sent him an owl explaining what the muggles call "the five stages of grief", Esmeralda seemed to be in the depression stage. The red-haired witch assured him that she would eventually go back to her old self. Sirius wasn't so sure about that.

There had not been any news from the Order. It seemed like everyone was grieving the losses of the members that had fallen the week prior. Sirius had gotten back letters from everyone, except Remus. His attempts to contact him had grown scarce as the days passed. He knew that Clara's death affected him the most, but it did seem weird that he had not written back to him. From what James and Peter wrote to Sirius, their werewolf friend had not sent a letter to them, but a note saying he was fine. Nothing more.

 Esmeralda sighed and, for the first time in days, looked away from the ocean. Obsidiana looked up and cooed happily at her. The young witch laughed which caused Sirius to bolt out the door. They locked eyes and started to tear up. Slowly, Sirius walked towards Esmeralda and kneeled next to her, embracing her in a tight hug. The two of them sobbed into each other's shoulders silently.

"We'll get through this," Sirius whispered, "Together."

"I know," Esmeralda whispered back.

By now, Obsidiana had flown off Esmeralda's lap. Sirius helped Esmeralda stand up to go inside and noticed the letter falling off his fiancée. Not letting go of her hand, Sirius bent down and picked the mysterious letter from the floor.

"What is this ?" he asked softly.

"I have no idea," she replied.

The envelope had Esmeralda's name on it written loosely and quickly, it was almost impossible to read. The couple went inside their house and into the kitchen, where Sirius had been cooking one of Esmeralda's favourite meals hoping she would leave the porch and go inside. They sat down next to each other and looked at the letter again.

"Do you recognise the handwriting ?" Sirius asked.

"Not quite," Esmeralda replied, "I know it's not from Lily or Remus since they have such neat handwriting, but it's not from James or Peter either."

Sirius handed her the envelope.

"It's addressed to you," he said, "You should open it."

Esmeralda ripped the messy wax seal that was on the envelope and took the parchment out. She cleared her throat and started to read it out loud.