Beautiful Moon

Chapter 11

Beautiful Moon

Chapter 11

As the group trekked through the dense forest, silence was all that was present around them, and the darkness was fast approaching as dusk made its presence known. Consequently, Kuro had called for the group to cease our walk and set up camp in this vicinity to prepare for the night ahead. It had been a long, exhausting, and emotional day for all of us, and when we had finally come to a spot to set up camp for the night, we were all mentally and physically exhausted and ready to take some time for ourselves after all that had tested and stretched us, with so many events unfolding that had challenged all our nerves and emotions.

We had come across a clearing that we had come across that provided the perfect space to camp, and we quickly began to set up our tents, keeping them hidden and obscured from a distance, and made a small, but potent campfire in the center to provide warmth as well as to cook our evening meal.

The group sat down by the fire, trying to recover from the lengthy journey and to process everything that had happened. They were still trying to make sense of what had gone down throughout the day. Everybody was pulling their weight and helping out with the various setup activities. Reiko was engaged in setting up the tents, Takashi was attending to the fire, and Tsukasa had taken on the task of fishing at a small body of water nearby. Even I was lending a hand wherever I could, as I had now settled in front of the fire, taking the moment to warm myself.

Kuro remained vigilant now that the sun was slowly setting for the day and with the group finally settling and ready for the night, the hope was for the evening to pass without any disturbances. After hours of walking, the mountains were close in the distance and would be reached by the late morning if they were to keep a steady pace when they would begin again in the morning.

My mind was occupied with various thoughts as I spent some time alone. The mission and its objectives, the loss of our friends, the unknown of what was going to happen when we reached the mountains, and the identity of the mysterious male all occupied my thoughts. I always seemed to never have a moment when I wasn't thinking of something, which sometimes troubled me as to how I would manage everything and what would take place in the coming days. It was a neverending state of thought, even during moments of quiet and peace.

I notice that I haven't been thinking about Tsukasa much today, which is a good thing, as I can keep my mind clear and free from excessive thoughts. The events of the day, including the death of Katsu and the mysterious appearance of the cloaked figure, had significantly overshadowed any romantic or other thoughts that I could have about Tsukasa. Since I last spoke to him last night after he had declared that nothing more would happen between them, Tsukasa had been acting distant towards me, which was also a factor in my focus drifting away from him. I had been caught up in so many thoughts that it took me a while to realize that.

I don't understand why I was thinking about Tsukasa so much now that we were not a thing anymore, not that we ever were in the first place. I didn't really want to get involved with anyone; however, now that the attraction was no longer present, my desire to have his attention was building up, even though it made no sense to want something that I never desired before.

Now, with my thoughts drifting back towards Tsukasa once more, I remembered Reiko's "If there is something between you two, it's worth holding onto."

I was starting to feel the frustration in all of this as the complexity of feelings and emotions started to weigh me down. Damn it, I hate how emotions and feelings have to be so damn complicated! Why can't it just be simple? Why is it that one minute, I am feeling one way, and in the next, the feelings change completely? Am I just gonna go back to feeling numb and not wanting anything to do with anyone again? Seems like the easier choice, but it's not the one that my heart desires, and then I wind up back here, wanting more, and feeling more.