~*Ruikasa Oneshots*~

I won't ever leave.

This is angst. Only angst. I've been in a pretty bad mood today.

Tw: manipulative, controlling, behavior?

~~~~~~~~~

"You oversensitive bitch."

"You should die."

"No one likes you."

"How about you do this instead?"

How am I supposed to make everyone happy...?

I quit stage directions long ago. I'm tired of this. No matter what I do, everyone hates me. I think I gave up long ago.

This wasn't what I wanted.

I thought I found friends, but they're just terrible people. They lured me in with their words, only to backstab me later. They criticize me me what I like. They always mocked me and played with me like a toy.

I should have looked at the signs. They told me everything I needed to come to the conclusion I shouldn't trust them.

They gave me a new "name". They told me to forget about my real identity. They said I wouldn't need it anymore.

Tsukasa also didn't help. He was always at the center of everything. Everyone around him seemed to worship him like he was a God.

We set rules. He could break them without consequences. He could say anything, everyone would follow him. They said he was just being him, and that he was always right. Even when he wasn't.

Even Nene followed him.

How despicable. As if I couldn't see through that little makeshift cult of his.

They all acted like it was my fault whenever something happened. They always blamed it on me.

It wasn't like that at first. Tsukasa himself came to see me. He said I was a good person and he wanted me to join his theater troupe. He showered me with praises and affection. He said he had been alone too and could understand my pain.

I was happy. I found someone like me. So I listened to him.

He introduced me to his troup. They were nice. They told me they would accept me. Then they gave me a role. A new identity. I was their Alchemist, the director. They were convincing. After years of bullying, I found friends.

Tsukasa also promised me something. He said I would get to make shows with him. To decide the story line. To help him with costumes and scripts. And one day, if I was talented enough, he'd let me make an entire show that he would play no matter what it was. I was overjoyed. Someone finally recognized my talent. He told me the others just wouldn't get it.

So naturally, seeing as they were so nice, I invited someone else. A "friend" of mine. He didn't fit in this group. He left quite early, telling me those people wanted to hurt me. But I was naive at that time. I was sure they wanted something good for me. So I defended them. He told me I was hopeless. Then Tsukasa intervened. He took my defenses and shunned this guy.

The guy ran away. I was pretty happy with the outcome. We weren't meant to be friends if he was just going to criticize me. Tsukasa talked about the guy to the others. He said he never wanted any good.

When he was at school, he would throw random things at him. He would call him names even. But everything was okay. He deserved it after all, no...?

For being so understanding, Tsukasa gave me the opportunity to make a script for myself. I was really happy. So I did everything I could, the best as I could.

In the end, we ended up having a lot of fun.

I talked to my parents about my newly found friends. They didn't trust them. They were wary. Why was that? I shut them down. They didn't know any better. I only trusted Tsukasa now. He was telling the truth after all... and he was helping me, unlike anyone. So I didn't care about those who didn't do anything for me. My parents especially.

I was doubting a bit. So I asked Tsukasa for help. He told me my parents were lying. That they wanted to control me. He also said that if I doubted him after everything he did for me, I would have to leave. I was devastated. I didn't want to lose him. I apologized and stayed. He seemed satisfied.

Then a big argument took place. I thought he was trying to control me. He told me I was the crazy one. He said he wouldn't support a "bitch" like me. It hurt. A lot. So I apologized, again and again until Tsukasa forgave me. He accepted me back into the troup, smiling.

I won't escape. Because even if I try to resist, they'll shun me. They'll call me names. I didn't want to end up like the guy I convinced to join a few times ago. So even if I did try to get out... I wouldn't escape. I was addicted to that feeling of being special.

I won't ever leave.