Noelle.

EIGHTEEN.

She looked up at me, mouth slightly ajar at my words, "What if he wants to take Leilani from me?" She spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. I could see her eyes start to well up. She was tipsy, but not too tipsy to understand what I'd just said to her. I sat down next to her, wrapping an arm around her, "Oh honey, that's not gonna happen. You're an amazing mommy to Leilani, anyone with eyes can see that" I replied, dropping the tough love cause I'd gotten through what I needed her to hear. All she needed now was encouragement and a hug.

"What if he wants to like, take her for a weekend or something? I don't know him, Aria. I know nothing about him. Im so embarrassed that I have a child with a man that I don't know. What if he's mad he missed so much of her life already? What if she goes her whole life without knowing who her father is? Where she gets certain traits from? Why her favorite food is her favorite food?" She bombarded me with what I assume her thoughts about the situation at hand were. I laughed softly at her questions, I would like to say that they were ridiculous questions, but I had to validate her feelings, plus, I'm not in her situation, so these may be very valid worries.

"What if he rejects my child?" She whispered again. She let the tears spill. "I went through almost my entire life feeling rejected by my parents. That's a pain that I never want my children to ever have to experience" she cried silently. I thought about her words, taking them all in. "Noelle, he deserves to know. And Leilani deserves to know that she has a dad. You know better than I do that everything happens for a reason, everything. If that's something that you have to deal with after telling Jeremiah, then that's something that you and Leilani can work through dealing with together. You're focusing too hard on the negatives than the possibility of the positives, this conversation with him could go either way" I replied. She stared ahead of her at the lot full of cars, more tears falling silently.

I felt like everything I was saying was going in through one ear and out the other, I knew exactly what to ask her next. "Have you prayed about this?" I asked, looking for her eyes before they locked with him. She blinked and one last tear fell before she wiped it away, she nodded her head. "Yeah... yeah, I have. I prayed a lot, actually" she replied. I smiled softly, "Your faith is bigger than your worries. The Bible says to cast all your cares on the Lord, you know that. You're the one who showed me that scripture, right?" I nudged her as she laughed softly, looking away before sniffling. "Did you get a reply from God?" I asked.

She didn't respond. "Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened" I spoke, reciting Matthew 7:7 to her. I saw her break out in a small smile, "The Holy Spirit has been giving me dreams and has been telling me repeatedly to tell him..." she spoke softly. She turned her head to look at me, her face scrunched together as another wave of sadness hit her, "...I'm so scared, Aria, and so embarrassed. I'm so embarrassed." she finished. I wrapped her in a hug as she let her tears out, "You know how important obedience is on your walk with God. I know sometimes it can be so hard, but God won't allow you to go through certain things if it wasn't gonna be good for you eventually." I spoke softly, rubbing her back up and down.

"You do not understand now what I am doing, but you will understand later" I whispered, quoting John 13:7 to her, making her cry a little more. I know for sure that that's one of her favorite Bible scriptures. Seeing her faith grow and to see her so deeply rooted in Christ has been so amazing. I've gotten to witness every single one of her character arcs in the flesh and it's been motivating me to start building a relationship with God, just seeing His love be embodied in her. The different type of light that she carries now when she was once in so much darkness; It warmed my heart and fueled a new fire within me to seek Him for myself.

After a few minutes of being in our same position, she lifted her head from my shoulder, "Can you call Ayva for me? Ask her to come out? I'm gonna tell her about Jeremiah while I still have the courage" She sniffled. I took no time pulling my phone out my purse and calling her number, knowing that out of everyone that came, she's the only one not drunk. While I couldn't stand her at times, I respected her decision not to drink, seeing how it affected her family in more ways than one.