A fanfic of Rarl (PLS DO NOT READ 😭) (IF YOU READ THIS I HATE YOU)

Its not that big of a deal.

Carl was still sleeping till he felt someone caressing his hair.
''Ron?'' Carl says while smiling sleepily.
''Are you still here?''
              ...
He feels the hand stop.
''What?'' He hears a deep, low voice say.
Carl feels his heart skip a beat and feels fully awake now. He opens his eyes and sees his dad sitting beside him on the bed.
''Dad? How did you come in? The door was locke-'' Carl immediately closes his mouth with his hands. He looks at his dad in horror and sees a very mad-looking Rick in front of his eyes.
Rick sighs heavily.
''Ron was here?'' Rick asks with a very serious voice.
''No! No!'' Carl shakes his head as he repeats.
Rick suddenly stands up.
''Breakfast is ready.'' He says as he leaves the room and shuts the door. Carl is still shocked and he doesnt want to go downstairs and have breakfast with his dad after what happened. But he feels so hungry after not eating for 3-4 whole days. He tiredly stands up and goes downstairs. He sees Michonne and his dad eating in the kitchen. He sighs as he enters the room. He sits down to have breakfast.
''Good morning Carl.'' Michonne says smiling.
''Good morning.'' Carl says tiredly. He looks up from his plate and sees his dad staring at him.
He quickly breaks the eye contact.
''Did you sleep well?'' Michonne asks Carl.
Before Carl can even reply Rick cuts him off.
''Of course he did.''
''Dad-''
''He even had company.'' Rick says with the most serious tone Carl has ever heard.
Rick sighs as he puts his fork down.
''Why are you like this?'' Rick's words are surprising and hurting Carl so much that he can feel tears forming in his eyes.
''I just want to have breakfast.'' Carl looks at the food on his plate to avoid eye contact.
''Carl. Look at me.'' Carl ignores Rick.
''Carl! Look at me!'' Rick yells.
''Rick... Please. Calm down.'' Michonne signals Rick to calm down. Carl tries to eat his food but  struggles for some reason. He suddenly feels like he's going to throw up. Carl immediately closes his mouth as he stands up to go to the bathroom.
''Carl?'' Rick calls out to his son with concern.
Carl gets inside the bathroom and locks the door.
He falls to his knees in front of the toilet. He starts to throw up. Rick bangs on the door.
''Carl?! Are you okay?'' Carl keeps on throwing up. When he finishes throwing up he feels so weak and he doesnt even have the energy to unlock the bathroom door. He tries to push his limits as he stands up to unlock the door. Rick sees Carl looking so sick and pale.  Michonne gasps in horror.
''Carl..? Son-'' Carl collapses before Rick can even finish his sentence. Rick quickly catches Carl before he hits the ground. Carl's eyes are not fully closed and he can hear bits of what's happening even though he can't see. Rick scoops Carl into his arms and he quickly leaves the house.

—————————————————————————

Carl wakes up and finds himself lying on one of the infirmary beds. He's still feeling very tired and starts to look around. He finds his dad sitting on a chair beside the bed. Rick is fidgeting with his hands and he's looking very tense.
''Dad...?'' Rick hears a very sick voice calling him.
He immediately looks at Carl and sits up better. His worry and concern for Carl showed in his blue eyes.
''Son?'' Rick brushes Carl's bangs out of his face.
Carl wants to ask and say a lot of things to his dad but his weak body is not allowing him to.
''Its okay. Just rest here for a bit and I'll go find Denise okay?'' Rick stands up to find Denise but he feels Carl's soft, weak hand stopping him.
He turns to face Carl.
''Dont go.'' Carl says with his pleading blue eyes.
Rick takes a look at his son's pale face.
''God, you're so pale.'' Rick says concerned.
Carl smirks weakly.
He hates this situation so much. He hates looking weak in front of people, especially his dad. He's too worried to make his dad disappointed. He feels pathetic and stupid.
''I really should go and get Denise now Carl.''
Carl just nods slowly and softly in response.
Rick leaves the room to find Denise. Carl is staring at the door, waiting for someone to enter.

Will he come?
Probably not.
Im just a fool for even having hope.

Some time passes and Rick enters the room with Denise. Rick sits on the edge of the bed looking at Carl concerned. Denise is talking with Rick and Carl but Carl doesnt even know what she's talking about. He sees his dad nod in response so he decides to do the same. He cant get Ron out of his head.
Why would he not come?
Maybe he doesnt care enough about Carl to come visit him.
... Why does Carl even think about Ron this much?
He doesnt even care about what that stupid boy thinks about him.
Nothing would change in his life if he didnt come to visit Carl.
Carl promises himself to not talk about Ron anymore.

''Carl?'' Rick says which makes Carl snap back to reality.
''Is... Ron here?'' And just like that, he broke his promise to himself.  Rick sighs.
''That's not important right now.''
''Tell me!''
''I said thats not important!'' Rick yells at Carl.
It surprises and scares Carl so much that he forgets what he was going to say. Denise looks at Carl then Rick and then Carl back again. She tries to break the awkward silence by clearing her throat.
''So... Carl, have you eaten anything today?''
Carl looks at the thin blanket on him and hesitates a bit before speaking.
''I havent eaten anything for days.''
''I see. I think that's what caused you to faint.''
''Its not that big of a deal, really...''
''Oh, its not?! Do you even see how bad you look right now?! Look at how thin your arms has gotten!'' Rick grabs Carl's wrist. Carl doesnt know how to reply back. He knows how weak and bad he looks. He just doesnt want to admit this.
''Rick..'' Denise tries to calm Rick down.
''Let me finish! Im not done yet!'' Rick yells at Denise.
''Just fucking go!'' Carl snaps at his dad.
.....
''What did you just say to me...?!'' Denise grabs Rick's arm before Rick can do something bad.
''Rick please! He doesnt know what he's saying. Lets go find something for him to eat huh?''
Denise gets Rick out of the room. Carl has never seen his dad get this mad at him before. It scared him so much and it scares him even more when he thinks of what his dad wouldve done to him if Denise wasnt there. Carl tries not to cry. He sees Michonne enter the room with a plate of food in her hands.
''Hey Carl...'' Carl doesnt reply back and turns his focus back on the thin blanket.
''I brought tomato soup. I know you like it.'' Michonne smiles at Carl. Its clear that Michonne is trying to hide her concern for Carl.
''Im sorry.'' Carl finally speaks.
''Sorry for what? You dont have to be sorry for everything.'' Carl finally breaks down crying.
''I act like a fucking brat. I fuck everything up all the time. My dad is trying to be nice to me and protect me but everything i give him in return is shit.''
''Carl...'' Michonne carreses Carl's hair.
''You're just so used to acting like an adult and making serious choices. Its normal for you to make mistakes when you finally get a chance to act your age.'' Carl looks at Michonne with teary eyes.
''And for your dad... He loves you.''
''It doesnt feel like it...''
''He loves you more than anything in this world. It might not feel like it right now, but trust me... He cares about you so much.'' Michonne plays with Carl's hair.
''Do you want to taste it now?'' Michonne smiles at Carl.
''Mhm.'' Carl sits up to eat the food. And after some time he finishes the food.
''Do you want me to leave so you can sleep for a bit?''
''Yes please.'' Michonne nods and leaves the room. Carl dozes off to sleep almost immediately.
Carl wakes up to Rick's and Denise's talking.
''Dad...?'' Rick turns to Carl and sees him awake. His gaze softens for a moment but turns serious again. Denise smiles at Carl and leaves the room.
''She said that you were good to go.'' Rick sits on the chair beside the bed as he waits for him to wake up fully. Carl sits up on the bed.
''Are you mad?'' There is an awkward silence after the question.
''...Very.''
''I know... Im sorry.''
''We will talk about it later.'' Rick says and sighs.
Carl slowly gets up from the bed. Rick suddenly pulls Carl into a hug. Carl is taken back a bit but hugs his dad back. Rick puts his chin on Carl's hair as he hugs him. They stay like this for a good minute and Rick pulls away softly.
''I have to go talk with Daryl. Will you be able to go home alone?''
''Yeah. No problem.''
''Good boy.'' Rick ruffles Carl's hair.
Carl leaves the infirmary and walks towards his house. He suddenly stops when he's at the front door and feels someone's eyes on him. He looks behind to find Ron sitting on a bench. Ron's eyes are shining and he looks surprised to see Carl. Ron stands up to see Carl's face better.
Was he waiting for Carl?
Why was he here?
Why is he looking so happy to see Carl when he didnt even come to visit him?
One side of Carl wants to go and hug Ron and never let go of him. But the other side wants to never see his face again. Carl thinks about his relationship with his dad and how bad it is getting everytime he is with Ron and he betrays his heart by entering his house, leaving Ron alone outside, standing in the darkness.