The Right Person

CHAPTER - THE END

I am sorry to inform you that there will be no more updates from now on. We are no longer together; we decided to end our relationship on 16th November 2023. Our relationship lasted 239 days. We are still friends and often check on each other

On 16th November, which was also my special day, it turned out to be the worst day. I was already upset before even talking to her, just waiting for her to text me. I didn't expect her to wish me exactly at 12 because I knew she might be sleeping, but she texted me later, and I was happy. However, she acted like she forgot about my birthday, or at least that's how she portrayed it. I can't accept the fact that she actually forgot about that day.

Skipping the details of that day, there were some triggering texts from her. This time, instead of directly mentioning a breakup, she typed, "Let's not fight and solve this; tell me a solution." Seeing that, I wondered why she always wanted me to come up with solutions. I expressed this by typing, "Why always me? Why can't you give any solutions? Why does it always have to be me?" She started typing something lengthy, and I thought she was trying, but her response was, "I don't have any solutions, and you also don't have one; let's just break up."

Realizing my mistake in expecting something from her, I wanted to respond differently, questioning why she was breaking up when she claimed not to be happy. However, I just typed, "Yes, I know."

I asked her to block me. Many might wonder why I would suggest that. There's a backstory: when we were just friends texting each other, and I was in a relationship, my girlfriend found out and told me to block her. At that time, I didn't have any romantic feelings for her, so I blocked her. The next day, on our way to school, I confronted her about it, saying, "You were texting me and telling everyone that I was texting you. Now, text me; I blocked you." She laughed,but then just sat quietly after that I regretted saying that, and that's why I hesitate to block her even now.

Returning to the breakup day, even though I caused all the mess, I waited for her, just hoping she'd say, "Let's go back; I am sorry." I never thought all the love I gave her would end like this. But, as I said,

EXPECTATIONS EXPECTATIONS
JUST A WASTE

She didn't come back the next day, I asked her sister how she was doing, and her sister said, "She's happy." Seeing that, I wasn't angry; I just couldn't comprehend "how she could be happy while I was here, crying over and over again." I just didn't felt any anger or hatred towards her.

I decided to give her some time. After 5-6 days, I intentionally texted her, saying I had moved on, and she could unblock me. She did.

That day, my plan went into action:

"GET HER BACK NO MATTER WHAT" !!!

But it ended before even starting; she texted me, saying she told one of her friends that we decided to break up.

Seeing that, I said, "We? You are the one who broke up, not me. Don't say 'we decided'; it was all you."

Then she sent me a conversation between her and her friend about the reasons for our breakup.

No, I wasn't angry at that point that she told her friend the reason why she decided to break up and not tell me.

Her first reason was that we didn't talk as much. There were so many days when she was dry texting me, but I never thought of it as a breakup reason because we're both students with a lot to take care of. But I guess her experiencing it  was kind of shocking to her. I wasn't angry at this point either.

Her second reason was studying. It just messed up my mind. Seriously, study? Did she just say study? Whenever she mentioned study between us, I always told her to keep study as her first priority. Whenever she was studying, I always told her to just study; we can talk later. And what study? She was not the only one managing study and a relationship. I remember correctly, in March, we had our exams, and in February, when I gave the pre-term, I was in a tough spot with a 41% score. I never told her that because at that point, our love was blooming, and I knew if I backed out, it would all be destroyed. So, I didn't. I managed it all; it was so damn hard, but I did it.

THE PLAN WAS:
There was one thing I was sure of—if I told her, she'd come back to me. But seeing her reason for the first time, I didn't want to go back with her.

So that day was the first time I deleted her pictures from my phone, not just one—every picture related to her. I deleted all the chats, everything. But as a promise to her sister, I still decided to complete this story of us. But while writing it, I realized there was no love in all those paragraphs; it was just my hatred towards her. I never wanted to hate her because to her, "I was just a wonderful experience," but to me, "she was my everything." So, I told her that if I completed our story, it would just end up portraying her as a bad character. She said she didn't have a problem with that. I didn't know what to do at this point.

So one day, I just texted her:

"I can't write our story, and I am dropping it." I told her that I am deleting my socials to learn how to love myself, but instead, it was how to not love her"

I deleted all my socials for 16-17 days. In these days, whenever I thought of her, I just straight-up banged my head on the desk or slapped myself. I learned how to control myself from texting her again and again. I removed all her pictures from my room and my board. I threw away the drawing of her. I deleted all the edits of her and all the future editing ideas—everything.

And just a few days back, I enabled my socials . I didn't felt like I needed to text her. I didn't felt i need to check on her. She texted me, and when I saw her notification, I didn't felt excited. She posted her picture on Insta story, and I didn't think of her in that way. Seeing all this, I guess I really moved on from her.
The last thing I have that is keeping me emotionally attached to her Is this story about us so i am ending it today too

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING.
I loved everything about her but I hate her for two things, I told her several times if you ever decided to give up on me just let me know the reason but she never told me the reason, I guess it was just my luck? That i eventually found out the reason and why even if she was thinking about breakup why it has to be just when I was meeting my parents after 8 months, why it has to be on my birthday.

And I am sorry if you are reading this I don't want you to be uncomfortable or confuse you, I have no other intentions behind all this.

       
"I read something beautiful that might help someone in the same situation as me:

'If anyone wants to disappear from your life, just let them go. Crying, begging, yearning—relationships are not formed like that. If someone wants to stay, they will stay with love. But if they want to go, just let them go. Even if you stop them, they will be physically there but not mentally. They will forcefully stay and will eventually leave, hurting you even more.'

And in the end, I want to share some advice. We live in a generation where a person is more taught to let things go rather than fix them. I'll never blame her for breaking up with me because, in the end, she is also influenced by this generation where people have normalized cheating, divorce, and breakups. Nowadays, when kids have arguments with their parents, they will directly say, 'My parents don't care about me; I hate them; I want to leave them.'

Sometimes it's not just about your own happiness; sometimes it's about your partner or your family, friends' happiness. Don't give up on people easily. Throughout your life, you will meet more people who will hurt you, so don't let go of people that make your life a happy place over some arguments, anger, etc. There are many words like hate, mistake, etc., and there's also the words 'forgiveness' and 'chance.'"

The mistake I made was that I always expressed to her what I felt. If I felt something was wrong between us, I kept telling her right away. I never had any trust issues with her; instead, I had trust issues with the people surrounding her because I was always surrounded by guys who wanted her. So, I always kept confiding in her about everything. I guess that's what annoyed her the most.

There was one of her childhood friends that she met after a long time, but when that friend kept disturbing our relationship, I just wanted to get rid of him without caring about what she felt. Because of me, her childhood friend blocked her but She never let me feel that it was because of me that she lost her friend.

I always pressured her to do things she didn't want to do, and I was constantly trying to get all of her attention. I always did something special when she did something for me. There are many more things that I regret.

I didn't loved her because I was lonely
She appeared like a bright star in my night sky, her presence in my sky lit up my entire existence...
I loved her and for her happiness I let her go