Songbird

chapter 1

There was a time when I loved the darkness of the night and the silence that came with it. It felt calming to be out and alone in the dead of night. It was peaceful.

But not anymore.

Now the monsters lurking in the dark have made themselves known, and I can't escape from them. They hide in the shadows, watching and waiting for the right moment.

Now the dark has become anything but peaceful.

It has become a time where the silence is now filled with the never-ending thoughts running through my mind. The peacefulness has given way to unrest and captivity.

As I lay here in bed, watching my door carefully, I wonder what monsters the night has in store for me this time.

It's currently 11:00 pm on a Sunday and I have yet to fall asleep. My mind is unable to quiet down enough for me to sleep through the night. The feeling of paranoia created by the uncertainty the night brings is as strong as ever.

Shifting on my bed to lie on my back, I stare at the ceiling of my room. The various glow-in-the-dark stars scattered around are no longer glowing, and the light that was once there has become consumed by the darkness.

I glance at the clock, dread filling my entire body as I wait. I wait for the familiar soft creeks of the stairs and I'm not surprised when I hear just that.

My dad makes his way up the stairs, and I can hear him well enough to know that he is anything but graceful in doing so.

I quickly get up from my bed and make my way over to the door, double-checking to make sure I've locked it.

Turning back around, I head into my bathroom after grabbing my pillow and an old picture frame with a photo of my mom and me. Making sure to lock that door behind me too, I settle into the bathtub where I know I'll feel safer.

Safe for now at least.

This has become a routine for me. I go to my room around 10:00 pm, because that's when the monsters creep up on me.

There's been a few times where I've forgotten to lock my bedroom door and it didn't end well for me. Ever since the first few times it happened, I made sure I've hidden anything precious to me. The best place I have is under the floorboards, but there's only so much room.

Hugging the picture frame close to my chest, I allow myself to drift off to sleep. The loud banging on my bedroom door is a mere afterthought in my mind.

• • •

My eyes flutter open as sunlight streams through the frosted window in soft golden rays.

My nights are anything but peaceful. Oh no, the monsters follow me there too. My mind is plagued by the demons of the past and the uncertainty of the future. One I've realized may not last long.

I'm not sure whether to be relieved or scared.

Stepping out of the bathtub, I set my pillow and picture frame on the counter and began getting ready for the day, starting with a warm shower to wake me up.

I'm ready for school an hour later with forty-five minutes to spare before I need to leave. School starts at 8:15 a.m. and is about a ten-minute drive or a twenty-five-minute walk.

Grabbing my bag and my phone I make my way downstairs, bracing myself for whatever is about to happen.

I take slow, cautious steps as I walk towards the kitchen where I hear the noise coming from. When the room comes into view I see my dad standing at the counter reading a newspaper with coffee in his hand.