The Fear Between Us

Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Join me, Tara.

I don't know how long I sat there staring at the claw marks screaming let me out. Eventually, I'm not even exactly sure what came over me, but eventually, I was on my feet thinking that maybe somehow, I'd get out. Every system has a flaw, right? The chamber was dark and cold as a cool ocean breeze washed over me filling my senses despite the building having no visible open windows. At the far end of the chamber, I could see a dip where the sea breeze was coming from. It was oddly drawing me in as the chamber became smaller, more enclosed, and hardened with metal. The windows in my view were gradually disappearing fading into a blurred image like memories seeping into reality the closer I got towards the dip. A part of me wanted to explore what it was while another part of me argued to stay on course. I didn't know which one to listen to, I didn't even know which one won the argument. I spent a long time idling between the metal pipes producing a thick fog filling in the room obscuring my vision. Something kept nudging me towards the dip. At some point in my stay in this chamber, I started thinking if anything here was even real. But of course, it was real! It had to be... how else would I feel that unmistakably cold storm-like air, taste the sea salt on my palate and see the metal components? I didn't know what to believe anymore, a part of me argued that the ocean memories were fake but another part of me argued that if it were fake then how was it so potent in the air? I didn't know which part to listen to. I don't know who won that battle, all I remember is picking up a steel pipe for self-defence as I slowly made my way towards the dip. Something about the dip reminded me awfully of a cliff, one that would be perfect to view the sunsets on, one that would be perfect to propose on, one that would even be perfect to confess your feelings for someone on. Something about it just felt like home, it was familiar to me with my toes seeping into the sandy green grass even though I was wearing shoes I could still feel the beach-like sand spread across my feet, wiggling its way around each groove. I could hear my mother's voice call for me in between the narrow hallways of the chamber, telling us to be safe and not to go too close to the edge. Looking down I could see the fury of the darkened waves crash up against the shore. I know in my head that I'm not there, but I can't help it, it just feels so real. I turn around from the cliff to see her standing next to me, smiling almost as if she isn't about to die. This is how it should have gone, both of us standing next to each other at the edge of the cliff smiling because we've defeated the world together, rather than crying. After all, we lost it all in the process. I could almost imagine myself running trying to catch her, I could almost imagine that taste of utter betrayal, "Isn't this nice?" She said, "Isn't it nice to see it from a different perspective, my love?" She says now drawing my attention towards the cliff, "What do you mean?" I ask her as she smiles, glistening in the moonlight, "Isn't it nice to see this from a perfect perspective? We should have died together that day, instead of you wallowing alone in pain after all these years." She responds while showing me what it was like to see me chase after her splintering death, "But how could we change it? This isn't real, Jo... you're—you're not here." I reply with tears slowly dropping down my face as she cups my face with ice-cold hands, "But of course, it is, how else would we feel that chilling summer breeze?" She says staring back at me with those same comforting eyes, she was right. We could feel the breeze, we had left the chamber now, and nothing here remained metal. She drops her hand as she laughs gesturing for me to follow her. Eventually, we make it to the spot where she stood so many years before, she looks so alive and free. She reaches out her hand, "Join me, Tara." It's tempting I will admit and yet something keeps trying to pull me back, to yank me away. I take her hand. I can hear and feel everything. The ocean waves roaring in fear, the sky crying in anger. Everything makes sense now, "All you have to do is jump." She whispers gently in my ear as I close my eyes and smile too, shifting my foot to stand closer to the edge not realising that you can still hear the pin drop on the floor that's ten feet below me, not realising that I'm about to throw myself off a building doing the exact thing Mikhail wanted me to do. My eyes are closed and I'm in bliss, "Jo, I..." a clank sounded each time I tried to say the words. Now is my moment! But I can't seem to say it aloud, "Jo, I..." clank, clank, clank. It's distracting me from telling her the truth before a loud bang cracks into the ceiling clapping like thunder. The golden haze of the sun beamed in through the broken doors as my real Jo ran in after me repeating the cycle over again, before I knew it, I had whispered the forbidden words towards her as I threw myself off the cliff. Once I had finally opened my eyes it was already too late, the fog had now subsided, and I could feel the life drain out of the colour from my face while a silent scream deafened the room surrounding me as I reached out my arms to catch something. Anything. But I was in the middle of nowhere falling towards the end seeing no one staring down at me in remorse with the fear snaking back into my veins, shutting my eyes closed before I brace myself for the impact that's bound to come any moment. I truly am sorry, Josephine Rosewood.