Hinged, Grown and Sexy

18. Full Sight

During that time, it suddenly became so clear how the happiest people you know could be secretly crippled with depression. So when I got the chance to leave, I grabbed onto the lifeline and stayed until I was sure coming home wouldn't be a death sentence.

It was hard missing things, but it was harder watching everyone be so happy around me and I couldn't do more than fake it. It felt inauthentic, like some perverse lie to everyone I cared about.

"The change of scenery had helped for a bit, but when the feeling started to come back, I decided to finally get help. A therapist helped me work through a lot of it, but I had to be willing to do the heavy lifting. After a while, piece by piece I started feeling like myself again." I shrugged as if that war hadn't been one of the hardest in my life.

Like I didn't have to teach myself that death wasn't the lesser evil.

The guilt still gnaws at me for missing memories, but I couldn't keep pleasing people while costing myself.

Silence hung between us for what seemed like forever before Divine finally spoke.

"The reason I work so much is because I've been supporting my family for years now." I opened my mouth to ask more questions, but she shot me a look that said silence was the best option. "It was twelve of us growing up. My parents tried their best, but ten kids isn't easy."

She wiggled slightly in discomfort and scrunched her nose.

"I'm not the oldest, but I might as well be. My brother wasn't one for responsibility, so I'd picked up the slack before I even knew what it meant. I was the first to go to college, and if I hadn't worked my ass off to get a full scholarship, I wouldn't have been able to go. Even still, I'd had to fight for my parents to let me go."

"I'm sure you remember how much I worked in college, but barely half of any paycheck was for me. I thought after some of them started going to school or getting careers I'd get a breather. Except the breather never came. Some of them had started having kids and just never moved out, and the ones that did weren't in a rush to help me anytime soon." Each word was practically candy coated with bitterness, and stifled anger was written across her face.

"I have to keep taking care of them or no one will. Then, what? What type of daughter would I be if I just left them to figure it all out alone?"

I didn't bother offering empty platitudes or try to sympathize with a personal experience that wasn't really anything like what she dealt with. Instead, I asked a question.

"Who takes care of you, though?"

Water built in her eyes, but only a single tear fell that she hastily tried to wipe away.

"I don't know." She whispered and completely fell apart.

Immediately, I pulled her into my lap and wound my arms to cocoon her body. We rocked softly until her sobs quieted, and I placed a sweet kiss to the top of her head.

"I'll take care of you, pet." I promised.

Pulling back to look up at me, Divine searched my face for sincerity before she attempted to put her trust in me.

"You promise?" She finally asked, and I didn't bother answering.

Instead, I pressed my lips against her in affectionate promise. It wasn't a kiss for lust, it was one to imbed my intentions into her skin. I wanted her to know that every kiss would belong to me if she let it.

And how addicting those kisses would be if they were all like this.

Her tongue teased at my bottom lip, and I smiled before opening for our tongues to meet and caress each other. Just when it was taking a turn toward being too heated, I pulled away.