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driving was a form of therapy for jayda. ever since she got her license at 16, it was the one thing she could count on to help reinforce her independence and ability for self-sufficiency. the realm of possibility was endless within the metal protection of her vehicle. there wasn't a place she couldn't go or a height she couldn't reach on wheels and that was freeing. it released her from inadequacy and fears and disappointments. there was nothing to worry about what was directly in front and beside her.
aimlessly, she drove down the gravel roads in the cramped neighborhood she'd known all her life to end up amid a blue hill traffic backup. frustrated to be stalled in the process, she pulls over to the corner of a popular strip of stores and eateries. a hair store, a haitian restaurant, a bank, and the place where all of the bored student body hung out: the supercorner store. big as a walmart or cvs, mr.bleu's grocers was the go-to spot for all things cheap, sweet, and illegal for underagers. she parks her 2011 hyundai in between two much nicer and much larger cars and locks it shut.
"hey lyssa babe!" jayda greets her friend adjacent who was always working the register there.
alyssa james was the resident girl next door whom everyone couldn't help but love. the two girls were really only friends of convenience and always just seemed to be around each other without much effort on either end. "it doesn't make for a super deep friendship", jayda would always say to anyone who asked, "but it does make for a consistent one".
"jaydaaaa, hey mamas, i haven't seen you in a minute, where you been at?"
"girl, i just been focusing on me for real. you go through a different kinda glo when you leave a nigga, you know."
just then, a voice comes around the aisle in between a collective kind of laughing a talking.
"that nigga had a different story, saying he had to shoo you away." red flushed, jayda is face to face with mitch, jabari's right hand and someone she used to consider her big brother. standing with him was his sister breanne, their other friend benjamin, and benjamin's girlfriend, imani.
it was startling, to say the least, to be face-to-face with a group of people who she used to consider her family. given how things turned out with jabari, jayda felt it almost impossible to maintain a friendship with them. she didn't want to give them the opportunity to distance themselves or pick sides and so as the breakup unfolded, she took it upon herself to isolate and deal by herself.
"it's always like you to talk about things you know nothing about." jayda quips to mitch and the others with her head slightly tilted.
"you know i'm just chatting friend, it's not even like that. you just sensitive and shi cause you out here hiding from us."
"y'all don't even mess with me like that no more, get on for real."
to that, imani audibly gasps and recoils at the accusation. "girl why would you say that, of course we do. we're family whether or not you with that nigga. you ghosted us and didn't even give us a chance to be there for you."
"yeah," breanne chimes in "we don't like jabari enough to sacrifice him for you."
to this, jayda laughs and is almost overcome by emotion.
"not too much on bari na, but yeah jay, you should know us better than that by now."
benjamin nudges jayda's shoulder and when they make eye contact, his kind eyes are enough to make her feel safe around the people she once loved so deeply and sincerely.
"aight, aight, y'all are right. that was my bad. as long as y'all are sure you can keep what happened with bari and i separate."
"of course we can!" imani says flinging her arm around her shoulders. "and tell mercedes to stop hiding from us too. we was never tryna pick sides."
it was hard to deny the feeling of kismet walking into the store at the same time all of her friends were in her and even more so that they were reacting in this way. for the first time in a long time, was feeling hopeful and a lot less alone.
"i missed y'all."
a/n: writing and being in college is a lot harder than you would think. tryna lock in and see consistency this year. send up a few prayers.
