Primrose | REVIEW SHOP [ OPEN ]

★ { Ananas } Dungeon

Blurb:

This summary is excellent. The vocabulary used is really good, and the context as well as the year in which the story takes place are indicated. The lexical field is intended to be deep, dangerous, and disturbing, "ominous legacy", "perilous game", "malevolent force", "cryptic dream", "dark legacy", "conspiracy", "his demons and unearthed buried truths". .. However, I think it's almost too much of an impression that you're trying to convey, to somehow tick boxes to make this summary interesting. Long, emphatic, sometimes complicated sentences that put the reader in suspense without giving them anything. Repetitions, like "cryptic" or "legacy", ideas that come back, an obscurity that is used almost to excess. Twice, the same metaphor, Bryan between hero and pawn or Bryan between savior and prey. There is no need to have a comparison twice that means more or less the same thing. A summary does not need to go on so much or, if it does, it should give real information and not just repeat vocabulary which, while interesting and enjoyable to read, remains vague and does not ultimately tell us very little, except at the beginning of the summary. It is weighed down by lengths which are not always necessary. I think the last two paragraphs are too much. It does not add much to the value of the summary and seems to serve more to assert something rather than to encourage the reader to read. These paragraphs perhaps have an injunctive function and very nice turns of phrase, but it's wild in this mass of adjectives and words. However, I still like the question posed about the hero's quest. I think this makes the summary more vivid for the reader.

Plot:

The focus is a lot on the plot in this story, which is intended to be very complex and also intriguing. In my opinion, the plot is sometimes well-constructed and sometimes incoherent on several levels.

But let's start at the beginning. Bryan is an orphan, this is established early on after the quick passage of the dream reminding him of the day his parents died. Already, several questions, why did the criminal throw his weapon in the direction of Adams and why did he, rather than shoot him with it to annihilate the threat, decide to commit suicide in front of his wife's eyes?? How did Bryan's mother die in this case since the criminal no longer had the weapon in his hands and he had already promised to spare Adams' family if he voluntarily gave him the briefcase? Why did Bryan survive? Where did he grow up from then on? Who found it? The police? In this case, why did he grow up alone, without any help from the government even though he was a minor, why did the police not take him in or at least come to his aid?? I don't understand why he was left to his own devices for so long, why someone like Arnold didn't adopt him, since he seemed close to his father.

He very obviously knew that Bryan existed, he knew him, he had seen photos of him, he even had photos of him, and he knew that he had survived since he was able to contact him so easily. So why let him grow up in poverty? Is this intentional malice on Arnold's part or a simple inconsistency in the story?

Factually, I don't see any reason why Bryan grew up alone and in poverty. Her mother was a rich heiress, where did the money go? His father was a famous police officer, it is incoherent that their son was abandoned like this when they died. Did he not have grandparents or distant family who could have looked after him?

A few other elements, education does not seem obligatory in this world since, at seventeen, Bryan is not in school. If he is not educated, which is not entirely clear, given that he appears to have extensive knowledge in some areas but none in others, how is it that he does not haven't found a job? Simply physically, given his strength and abilities, he should not have had the slightest problem finding a job, even if it had been low-level. Also, I don't know what his rent is exactly, but just helping the old woman below his house doesn't seem like enough of a salary to me, or it pays a lot more than I thought. These are just insignificant details I imagine but I find that they prevent immersion a little. We cannot understand how, materially, Bryan was able to survive so long.