✦ { Holly } Against The Dark - A Dramione Fanfiction

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Reviewer: lantea-

Client: wordywonders


🌹》 Title, Cover, & Blurb
The title is capitalized correctly and fits the story. The cover is alright, I like how Hermione and Draco are blended into the cover. It's fuzzy and doesn't fit well on Wattpad. There's a white line on the left side of the cover. The subtitle and author name are cut off. Also, the subtitle just says "A Dramione," I don't see the "fanfiction" part of the subtitle. There also seems to be a lot of fonts used on the cover. Try to stick to 2-3 so it doesn't look too busy. The blurb introduces the story and characters well.

🌹》Plot
The plot of the story is interesting and engaging. I liked the mystery of it and I'm interested in seeing what happens. I think I have the mystery revolving around Hermione's scar and her intense anger solved. I can't wait to see if I'm right! The prologue captures the emotion after the final battle really well. The exposition introduces the characters and their situations well. This book feels like an actual Harry Potter book.

🌹》Characters
The characters are introduced well. The descriptions are good, however, more descriptions of their appearances could be included. The characters are accurate and true to themselves. The development of them after the battle is done very well. The characters' emotions are shown to the readers very well. Hermione finding out her parents had died right after she figured out how to restore their memories was heart-wrenching. Hermione losing her friends was also so sad. The character development for Draco is well done and it's progressing at a nice pace. Your name for the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Verlosser Bescherming, fits in with the Harry Potter world well. I never thought about Neville and Luna as a couple, but they're so cute! The relationship between Hermione and Draco is developing well throughout the chapters.

🌹》Grammar/Spelling
There were some spelling and grammar errors throughout the chapters. There were quite a few spots where the incorrect pronoun was used for the character so be sure to watch out for that.

🌹》Writing Style
The writing style was consistent throughout the chapters. The writing style could use some improvement. As mentioned, more descriptions could be added to the story. You convey emotion very well in the story. There were a few spots where the phrasing was hard to understand. The chapters were a good length and the story is progressing at a nice pace.

🌹》Enjoyment
I'm not usually a fan of slow burn stories, however, I enjoyed the story and would read on! As mentioned, I'd love to see if I'm right about my solution to the mystery. Draco was always my favorite character in the series and I loved how he was written in this book! I was so glad when Lucius got arrested. He definitely deserved it! I hope he gets what's coming to him. I loved this line from Neville in chapter six: "Have you ever seen a livid ferret?" I loved all the ferret jokes and that they are a thing. That was my favorite part of the fourth book/movie.

🌹》Overall
Overall, the plot is interesting and the mystery really intriguing! The characters are portrayed well in the story and the character development is done well. You do an excellent job portraying emotion throughout the chapters. The story needs an edit to fix the spelling and grammar errors. It also needs an edit to clear up some of the confusing phrasing. I'm sorry for the wait! Good luck with your story!

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