The Endless Soul

Chapter 12 - Naked Emotions

I sighed as Nikki waved me over to him.
Sandra's grip around my hand has gotten loose as Nikki arrived.
I walked over to him to see if he really wanted to help us or if he wanted to bang us.

"Hey man." A slight smile was seen on my face, I couldn't keep my facade anymore.
I felt like a fucking kid around him, when it's just me and him he's a whole different person.

He looked me up and down, scanning every centimeter of my body. Until he saw my knuckles.

"That's kinda rad on a lady." He snickered as he took my hand to look at it. The feeling of him touching me again sent millions of sparks through my entire body.

But I tried to play everything as cool as I could, so I just shrugged with a slight smile.

"Where you going to give us a ride home?" I slid my hand out of his, he looked back into my eyes after studying my hand. My eyes were glued onto the bassist as he licked his lips.

"It depends, now that you're asking." A smug smile spread across his face as he had a hard time to look into my eyes and not into my cleavage.

"Just get Sandra home, I can walk." I pled, only wanting what's best for Sandra.

"I'll give her a ride home, then i'll make sure to come back and get you. Then on the way here i'll have to think about what i'm going to do with you." He winked as he waved Sandra over.

She got on behind Nikki, and soon he drove away with her.

I sighed, before walking around a corner to sit down.

I backed myself up against the cold brick wall of the bar, and slid my body down.

The stars on the sky seemed clearer then usual, there wasn't even a bit cloudy.
I pulled my pack of cigarettes out of my pocket, along with my lighter.

The cigarette was in my hand and the pack had crawled back into my messy pocket, so I lit it as I looked up at the sky.

The night was still young, and the city was loud. Car horns, laughing, bypassing cars and arguments.
I took a deep drag of my cigarette and closed my eyes.

I was happy to be where I am, I just have a hard time processing what will happen if I end up sleeping with Nikki a second time.
I don't recognize myself after meeting him, how did I end up here?

The age gap is over 10 years, for gods sake.

I took another drag.

Like what is even happening, I don't even know if I meant what I said to him that night.

The words echoed inside my head.

'I love you'

What the fuck does that even mean? Three simple words that seems to make more trouble than it should.
Isn't 'I love you' supposed to be something good?

I could hear Nikki's motorcycle from the distance, yet he was close.
I stood up after taking a last drag before I poked the cigarette against the wall to put it out.

Before walking to the same spot I was standing at when I spoke to Nikki, I took a deep breath.

Nikki came back, and without any hesitation I jumped on behind him.
I hugged him, I didn't want to let go.