Never Be The Same - A Charlie and Nick Story

Chapter 17 - Overwhelming Emotions

I feel an anger bubbling inside me at the same rate as my anxiety. It's rather overwhelming the way I am feeling and this causes me to start shaking. My breathing starts to catch and I feel less and less air enter my lungs. I feel a hand on my shoulder but I don't look. "Elle, why don't you walk to where your car is and we will meet you there in a second?" Nick suggests. I close my eyes tightly and lean back, falling off the curb and sliding down the side of the car. When I open my eyes, Nick is squatting in front of me.

"Charlie. Hey it's me, it's Nick. You're okay." He says shakily, panicked even. "N-Nic-k." I breathe out. "Baby, you're okay. I am right here." He says and places his hands on both sides of my face. I shake my head, saying no but he shifts my head to look up at him. "I cc-a-n-n't..." I stutter and grab at my chest. I look at his face and his facial features start to become fuzzy. He runs his hands through my hair softly, tears softly running down his cheeks. When I feel his hand in my hair, I feel my heartbeat calm down a little and my breathing isn't as shallow. I think Nick notices this and takes both of his hands and plays with my hair softly. He sits down on the curb and continues to rub his fingers through my hair, humming some tune softly.

He quickly takes my hands and places them on my hips before moving his own hand back to my hair. He moves to kneel in front of me just in time for my head to fall on his chest. I move my hands from his hips to tightly around his back. We stay like this until my breathing evens out. "Nick?" I speak first. Nick falls from his knees to sit on the edge of the curb. He moves his hands to hold mine, his fingers brushing my knuckles softly. "I'm right here. You're okay." He whispers. I finally can see his facial features again and see streams of tears running down his cheeks. I reach up to brush away the tears with my finger.

"I am really sorry. I don't know what happened." I say genuinely. "We should get up and find our friends." I add before trying to get up, but Nick tugs my hands trying to tell me to stay down. "Char, please tell me what you're feeling... I was so scared." He tells me. Way to go Charlie... Way to freak out the person you are closest too. Way to suck. "Charlie." Nick says breaking me from my self hatred thoughts. "Please."

I shake my head... "Nick, I can't." I whisper. "I just don't want to annoy you or burden you. I don't want you to think I'm some fragile, broken mess. Like you need to fix me. I would hate that." I whisper. Nick immediately shakes his head softly. "You're not and I wouldn't." He whispers before kissing my cheek. If you tell him, he's going to leave you. He's going to walk right out on you. I just shake my head, tears streaming forcefully down my cheeks.

"I..." I trail off. Don't tell him. You are going to regret it.

"Charlie, please. I just want to help and I can't help if I don't know what you are feeling." His voice breaks before he leans down to rest his forehead against mine. I close my eyes before speaking...

"I got this overwhelming feeling of anger and anxiety when we showed up. I sorta felt it when Tao called but it was much worse when my shoes got ruined. I just..." I trail off and bit my lip anxiously before continuing. "I just felt like everything was out getting out of control and... and I was losing control. I was scared..." I completely break down now. "I-I am sc-scared." He pulls me in so tightly, probably the tightest he's ever held me. "I have you Charlie. I will always be here to catch you." He whispers.

What feels like hours is quickly interrupted. "You two coming or what?" Elle shouts, as she starts to come back over. My eyes widen up at Nick who smiles softly at me. "Hold on." He shouts, his eyes never leaving mine. "Are you okay to drive? I will be right behind you the entire time." He whispers and I nod my head. "Charlie is coming." He says before standing up. He reaches out his hands to help me up and when he does, I feel a warmth slide between out touch. I pull my hand from his and see the palms of my hands cut up from the gravel of the road. I rub them on my pants quickly, little pebbles falling to the ground as they are knocked from my skin. The bleeding isn't bad at all, just like a few paper cuts all together. Good, you deserve this...