The Disappearance of Crystal Jonette Davidson

Chapter 13

It's been 2 or 3 months since Christmas and I have only gotten worse. I'm sitting here picking the lock to Crystal's diary that I had forgotten about, over the time I ignored the case the detectives body was recovered in a terrible state of decay. I sighed as I got up from my desk to grab some clothes to go shower. I felt disgusting doing this and had to shower, I walked to the bathroom after gathering some clean clothes. Slipping off the clothes I had on from the night before I thought about how terrible Crystal's house is now.

I'm 18 now and I still can't let it go that I just left that detective at Crystals old and overgrown house. I was such a asshole when I did that all because I saw something I didn't want to see, It was all my fault and I can't let that go. I quietly stood in the shower staring off into space. I haven't heard her voice since that day I stormed off. I'm really sorry Crystal, I shouldn't have been that mean to you. Especially after death. I thought as I started to clean myself. The soap stung a certain area where I had hurt myself trying to pry the diary open. 

After getting out of the shower I pulled out the first aid kit from our mirror cabinet. As I closed the mirror I finally saw her, Crystal. 

"Sean, did you really want to shut me away that badly?"

"No. I just..saw something I wasn't supposed to see."

What the hell am I doing? Why am I talking to a ghost?

"Then why did you shut me away like that? Do you hate me after what you saw?"

"I don't hate you. But, I needed a break. I was going insane trying to find something that was right in front of me."
Stop it Sean. Talking to her won't make things better.

I disinfected the area on my hand where I accidentally cut myself prying open that god damn diary. It burned a lot but I pushed through, bandaging the area up after the burning calmed down. What the hell am I doing? Why should I care about her after what I found?  I got dressed and brushed out my hair. I stared at myself in the mirror, I looked like shit, the dark circles under my eyes returned and now theres a scar above my left eye. I quietly exited the bathroom and went to my room to continue my attempt at getting the diary open.

But when I went in, it was already open. I looked around and came to the idiotic conclusion that Crystal somehow opened it. I sat at my desk and flipped through the pages, only one stuck out to me and it read:

September 14th, 2004
I saw the cutest boy today in the hall. He was talking to a group of three other guys but HE stuck out the most with that bored expression that made him look cuter than the rest. I think he's in my math class. His name is Sean Valentine. I want him to be my Valentine ♡

I recoiled at the last statement. She went missing right before valentines day which felt so weird, I still wonder where her parents went and if they're alright.

Is everything I'm doing for nothing? Is there no endgame for this labrynth of a mystery? I closed the diary and went downstairs and sat in the living room, my parents were out for the day so I'm alone till 1 in the morning. I huffed and turned the TV onto the news since I don't leave the house much anymore.

This morning on the 9 o'clock news, Brittney Davidson and her husband Julius Davidson have been arrested for the disappearance of their daughter, Crystal Davidson almost a year ago. Law enforcement say they had turned themselves after quote; "Feeling guilty for suffocating their own flesh and blood in her sleep." Crystal's body has not been recovered and law enforcement doubts that there would be anything left to salvage.

I understand having guilts pile up after doing something horrible. But to murder your own DAUGHTER is another thing. I'm glad they saw their wrongs but I feel no different than I did before, like my own guilts are still there.

What do I do? I feel as if she still hasn't been put to rest. Is it me? Am I the reason she's still in this plane of existance?

Do I..Have to die for her to finally rest?

Do I

Have to kill myself?

I've never had suicidal tendancies so why now? Why do I suddenly need to die? Before I do, I want to see my parents and her house one last time. Is this the right thing to do?