Fagrid (A Hagrid x Reader fic)

Chapter 6: Petit à petit, l'oiseau fait son nid

"So, Cho," You breath out, practically jogging to keep up with her, "You and Harry used to date back in book five, right?"

"Yeah, before that dickhead dumped me for that ginger whore," She tightens a hand into a fist, "Jokes on him, he and Ron broke up after a week. Then he did the same thing to the ginger's sister - and my friend - Ginny. Poor girl."

"So you'd say you have a grudge towards Harry?"

"I'd say if I ever saw that shitbag again I'd expelliarmus his balls from his sack." Despite whatever you have down there, your crotch twitches in fear.

"We're 'ere." Hergrid announces from behind.

You look up at the large foreboding doors of the Great Hall. The sounds of the party are seeping through the seams of the door, churning your stomach even more. A large comforting hand lands on your shoulder, making you release a breath you actually knew you were holding. You place your hand on top of your beloved's, squeezing it before looking back to meet Hergrid's warm black orbs. You can't help but form a smile looking at her, though your expression quickly hardens again when you remember the current threat.

"Don't worry, Pookie, I'll protect you from Harry, even if it kills me." You say, and you mean it.

"Y/N..." Hergrid begins to lean closer to you, your lips barely brushing against each other. The delicious smell of her hot garlic-breath burns into your nose. Great Miku, how did you find a woman so perfect? You were ready to protect her with your life.

"Enough vague pre-climax foreshadowing, we're going to be late," Cho grumbles, breaking the two of you apart. "Just open the door already."

Your hand grabs the rusty metal handle, and with one last deep breath, you yank the door open.

The sound of music and dancing rushes into your ears. The Great Hall is full of students, staff, and even the kitchen slaves - sorry, the politically correct term is actually house elves nowadays - are there. Standing on the head staff table, surrounded by a bulk of the party-goers, is self-described party man Jackson Wang himself.

"ALRIGHT, WHO'S READY TO GET SHIT-FACED?!" He screams to the crowd before downing three jaeger bombs in quick succession, ripping off his shirt, and diving into the eager crowd of highschoolers. So this is what highschool parties are like? You think to yourself.

You turn back to Cho, only to see her impatiently scanning the room. She quickly finds whoever she is looking for and starts to walk forward, but her target beats her to it. In less than a second, a redhead girl is leaping into her arms, hugging Cho tighter than those size 5 jeans that you bought back in sophomore year but refuse to throw out because you keep telling yourself you'll "lose the weight eventually".

"Ginny! It's so good to see you again." Cho said, hugging Ginny Weasly back.

"It's good to be back, Cho, though I think I really needed that break back home. Mom's been so lonely since Ron died of Wizard Herpes..." Ginny pulled back, stifling a sob.

Yes, you now remember your fellow teachers gossiping about Ginny having to take an extended leave from school because her slut-of-an-older-brother kicked it after doing it with the castle caretaker, Filch. Now that you think about it, everyone knows that - like toilets - wizards don't use condoms; Fire Crotch probably spread that shit to half the school before dying. Hergrid and I should probably get checked before we do anything, you think to yourself while scratching your chin, Wait, doing things with Hergrid? I wonder what kind of things we'll do...

"Um, Cho, why is Professor Y/N creepily watching us?"

"Oh don't worry about them, Gin, they are just here to...erh what exactly are you here for?"

You finally snap out of your Half-Giant-Full-Hottie fantasies, "Oh right. I'm here to put a stop to Harry Potter. He's planning an attack on the whole school, or at least I think, the author was way too lazy to reread the last chapter and it's been like three years." Who cares? It's not like the Hugo Awards is reading some crack fic on Wattpad.

"He's what?" Ginny exclaims.

Cho scoffs, "Like he has the balls to do that. He only knows like one spell. Also, everyone knows that breaking the fourth stopped being funny after like the third season of Rick and Morty, Professor."

"I'm serious, he said he was building an army! I didn't even tell you the worst part: he's going after my love, Hergrid. He's going to steal her from me!" Also, fuck you, Cho, meta humor can work when done right.

Ginny speaks up, "Who Hergr-"

"'ello, Em 'ergrid." Hergrid says behind Ginny, who immediately lets out a loud shriek and hides behind Cho.

"Who-what is that thing?!" Ginny squeaks from behind Cho.

"That's Hergrid, the horrible half-giant, and my beautiful lover..." You say the last part with a romantic wistfulness, though your expression rehardens when you remember the dire situation, "And Harry seeks to hurt her. You two have to help me! Both of you have dated him in the past, you should know more about him than anyone, his strengths, his weaknesses, how to stop him," You reach out your hand face-down to the girls, "So please, I can't lose Hergrid. I'll even fake your test scores..."

Ginny hesitates before resting her hand on top of yours and turning to Cho, "Cho, we have to help. You know what Harry's like. We can't let him hurt anyone else." Cho looks between Ginny's face and your hands. Ginny gives her a smile so sweet you swear you can hear several glucose monitors going off.

Cho groans before placing her hand on top of Ginny's, "Fine. I'll do it. After all, I know I would be burning this place to the ground if he were after you, Gin." For a moment, Ginny's pale cheeks fill with pink and she lets out a quiet giggle.

"Thank you." is all you can say. Hergrid adds her hand into the center. "Three, two, one, let's save Hergrid!" You chant.

And with that, everyone lifts their hands into the air. You laugh to yourself, knowing Harry has no idea what he's up against now.