Fagrid (A Hagrid x Reader fic)

Chapter 5: Harry Potter and the Sex Scandal

A/N: I'm back bitches. Will I be uploading constantly now? No! Special thanks to my brother, SpazzyGoat, for contributing to this abomination by writing most of this chapter. 

The knocking on the door intensifies. Hagrid looks nervous, salty sweat that could have been in your mouth runs down his face. You silently curse the cockblocker at the end of the door.

Without warning the door flings open. Standing in the doorway is a four-eyed, whiteass twink who was so thin you could slap one of those slappy-bracelet thingies around his waist. Then you realize it's none other than Harry Potter.

You think to yourself damn this bowl haired cut fuck.

Obviously the Slytherin session is ruined when the Great Value Frodo proclaims "Hagrid, HOW COULD YOU?!!!!11!!!!" with tears streaming down his prepubescent face, tainting his already acne-ridden appearance with further unpleasantry.

He whirls his greasy mop-of-a-do towards you, giving you a glance of distaste in resemblance to that of the most bitchy of blonde mall girls, a statement that says in silence ugh, who's this bitch fuckin' with my mans?

The Potter returns his attention to your bearded, grotesque waifu.

"Hagrid, we swore on Hedwig's virginity that you wouldn't misbehave!"

Fagrid looks down, with a sheepish "oops" look upon his forlorn mug, ""I duno harreh, um surreh daddeh"

With disdain and a creeping break of the heart you realize Harry and Hagrid have more of a thing going on than you thought, Hagrid is the sub, and somehow this miniscule laddy whose balls haven't even dropped is the master of whom you desire to master you.

How could it be? "Hagrid!" You scream with your voice ashaken, "What is with this? This... thing of all magical beasts and beings in our wizardly world, and you choose Potter to own your tits?"

"It wasn' muh choice, dumbelcuhnt made me watch o'er harreh, and e'er since taht first night when he gripped me by me willeh..."

Harry crashed in, "It doesn't matter!!! Shut up Hagrid and come over here and plant that apple bottom down by my legs."

Hagrid lumbered over with his satiating bulky self, you could hear his jumbo chesticles slapping together with his hasty movement. In your mind you could only picture yourself between them, biting your lip with the envy, but that would have to wait.You couldn't believe how Harry treated Hagrid, sure, that was how you wanted to treat him, but you wanted a 50/50 relationship/fling/whateverthefuck with this curvy beast of a man. You wanted to let him also have some time calling the shots, but you could see how Hagrid acted so submissive, and the look in Harry's eyes, this cold, maniacal controlling look. Hagrid must've been under some sort of faggy spell.

With a smirk like some spiky haired Yu-gi-Oh character about to lay down his geeky blue eyes white dragon and proclaim his apparent neckbearded-ness... Harry the Potboy whipped out his wooded dildo wand of all sorts of Bishreksual magic. The device musked the room in such a fetid stench you reeled and gasped for some oxygen a bit cleaner. The brown sludge at the tip just furthered the point.

"Bondaggio Gordo!!!" and with a flick, chains shot out and wrapped around Fagrid. With a sharp cry, Hagrid fell backwards and landed on the floor with such a delicious thump of that rump, you could've only dreamed such a sound. Hagrid's clothes looked a bit shredded up and his face was slashed under the chains... under further inspection you see that the chains are barbed.

"Harry you malicious taint, you're hurting him!!"

"Shut up, he likes it, don't you, fudge muffin?" Hagrid can only manage a whimper, not wanting to anger Harry.

You see Harry's gone way too fucking far. The little bitch has let being the main character of the Grogwarts book go to his head. With all the Hermionies and Ronald Reagans he could ever finger at said fingertips, he was an absolute menace. The true villain wore grandma spectacles.

You shove Harry into a bookcase and a plastic dildo falls and slaps the fool in the head.

"Release Hagrid!"

"What're you going to do about it? You aren't even his type, lmfao. Get lost." He shoves you back, you fall into the table of rock cakes, smashing the table and scattering the rock cakes across the floor.

You see Hagrid's snacks littering the floor and a primal rage fills you. With your fingers trembling, you produce your own dildo wand, of a winding ivory fashion, and utter: "Voreacious mus musculus!" and see a savory little tail wiggling in Harry's crooked ass British teeth.

You watch the little fool wretch and hear a gulp. "Ach!" Damn you [Y/N], but I've got a little something for you. "Hippopai crushmose!!!" And suddenly a lumpy winged hippo comes into existence above you, falling on your head, crushing into your face with its cold leathery plump rump.

Sure a good old ass sitting on the face was something you wanted to try, but only with Hagrid, you were like a virgin whose sole purpose was to be deflowered by his thicc grace.

This felt like rape, especially after the hippo proclaimed "Oh Senpaiiiiiiiiii!!!" and let out a vile display of inner flatulence. With a moist rip of the atmosphere and a faint smoky cloud of sulfurous yellow you can only help but gag and think to yourself that Harry might just be more than a match for you. The hippo ceased its ass caressing of your face and poofed away with a sharp senpai.

"I see you're stronger than I thought Harry... but- "Serpentio Erotico!" with a flick of the wrist and a whip of the head you inflict a gruesome sodomizing into the bum of the bespectacled youngling. Of course the home wrecker liked stuff in the ass you thought, but not at this capacity.

Three serpents wrapped around the Potter and took turns entering his anal cavity, with such force you could see the ripples of bewilderment and pain in Harry's face.

"Enough, I yield!"

So, you think to yourself, this was a little easy. You call off the serpents, after satisfactorily witnessing some yellow puddle on the floor. The wimp wet his pants from the force.

"Will you leave my pudgy bae alone and fuck off to your hiroshima victim side chick?" you ask.

"Yes, yes I will. I give up on Hagrid."

Hagrid bellows in joy, and the chains unwrap from his delectable face. He runs to you, and you caress his slightly slashed but always beautiful face. Pressing his burly beard and soul ensnaring eyebrows to your bosom, you think to yourself that such bliss could not be replicated in any other way.

"Psyche!!" Cries Harry with a wild look in his eyes, "Hagrid you dirty whore!!!!! Your balls are mine, always have and always will be, I can destroy you, make you and unmake you, I'm Rowling's golden child, no one says no to me, nothing says no to me. If I want to fuck an owl or make a myrtle moan or one of those kinky mermaid aliens I get what I want!!"

You think to yourself, what a sore bitch. No wonder Hagrid's been trying to get away from this crazy mofo.

"I crossed my fingers [Y/N], the oldest trick in the Pottery book. I'll be back, with an army, and Hagrid's ass will be mine once and for all!"

You feel Hagrid's warm grip get even warmer and hold you tighter. With a loud poof, the Potter has retreated, to get a so-called army of sorts. He wasn't going to take what you've rightfully gained, the love and willing companionship of Hagrid. You need to find help, to fend off this haywire psycho. Perhaps his ex lovers and playthings will aid me in overthrowing the sexual tyrant.