Plans changed (Hawks x FemReader)

8

A wet pillow. Tears came down all night. I barely slept. My eyes were red and puffy, I barely could open them and when I did I winced. They were sore. I dont wanna move. I cant see him anymore. I cant, I refuse to. I will lay in bed all day and not talk to anyone. I turn on my stomach and I lay my head in my pillow. I scream. 3 times. My voice hurts. My hands hurts. My head hurts. My heart, is broken. I like Hawks. He likes me. I am a villain. He is a hero. We are opposites. 

I try and actually sit up. I need to pee. I go to the bathroom and use it and then look at myself in the mirror. Eyes puffy. Red. Bloodshot. My throat hurts.

I go to the kitchen and go inside a cabinet and pull out the Tylenol from couple days ago. I take 3. Maybe too much. Whatever. I walk back to my room. I lay in my bed on my back and just look at the ceiling. I need to do something. I cant stay here all day and be depressed. Stupid mood swings. I stand up again and I grab some clothes toss them on and put on my shoes. I go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, brush my hair, and rinse my face off. I walk outside with my gun.

I go to a store and I shoot the ceiling. "Get your asses on the god damn ground" I scream with a sternness. People go to the ground and I shoot the things on the wall. I feel like I just wanna have fun. "I dont wanna steal from yall," I be honest, "I just wanna have fun."

Horror goes in peoples faces and they wonder if they are going to die tonight. Maybe. "I want to see um lets see..........you" I point to a random person. She walks up and is about 3 feet away from me. "What should I do to you, pretty thing." I walk around her and then finally I ask her a question, "Do you sometimes feel like you cant be who you want to be? Like you arent good enough?"

She nods and I press the gun to my head, "Sometimes I wanna kill myself because of it. So girl to girl, I met this amazing guy.  A real charmer." She listens to me while she is still scared, I put the gun to the roof and shoot. "But guess what? I aint good enough for him. I cant change. I am stuck like this. And he likes me back! But I am too much of a coward to admit my feelings to him. How bullshit! Am I right?!" She opens her mouth, "W-Why dont y-you tell h-him now?"

"I lost my chance. I told him to leave. He wont want me back anymore."

"He m-might."

I look at her in the eye and I shoot the wall, I see her flinch. "I fucked up."

She is terrified. For her life. I am so done with this shit. I shoot beside her. I cant kill her. I cant take that burden on my mind. I hear sirens. Police. "You know I really thought that this could be the one good thing in my life."

I walk outside and I put my hands up before the officers said anything. "You got me" I say with  grin. I see them raise there guns and I want to just leave and go to prison. "Get your ass on the ground" I hear the same old officer as before. I obey and I am on my knees with hands raised and gun on the ground. 

"Im ready to leave, officer." I put my hands together. "Take me in."

He walk cautiously as I shut my eyes. He walks to me and quickly hand cuffs me. He grabs my arms and walks me to his car. He stops. I stop. What the fuck. I open my eyes and I see a red feather in front of my face. No. It cant be. Hawks. 

"Hey little bird."

My eyes are wide as I wiggle and I look at the officer in the eyes and he falls to the ground. I bend down and take the key and I wiggle to unlock the hand cuffs. I get them off and I stand 10 feet away from Hawks. I stare at him. Red eyes. Purple fist. And a gun beside my feet along side a man thats on the other side. I cant speak. Air does not come in or out of me. I really messed up. My vocal box does not work. 

"I had to get you out a sticky situation." He was the first to speak.

My hands are in front of me. His feather if in view.