We Are [CoR chronicle]

Entry 2

Good evening, here I am again. You've been quiet for another day, Furore. I'm getting a bit more worried now. I don't know what I can do to help you with getting out of whatever you're dealing with right now, but just know I wanna help. Here's an update on today to give you something to hold onto again...

Well, today was tiring. Normally I always get the chance to completely relax on a Sunday after doing all chores. But now was different unfortunately. Most of my energy had been drained from another depressive episode that has spiked up once more. I already asked my therapist for advice, but it always comes down to the same tips as I already followed. Sleeping well, eating healthy, going outside and talking to people... The basic stuff. I gotta say, I'm a bit clueless. Besides that, I'm also kind of dreading tomorrow, as it'll be Monday again and another week of work waits for me. Damn, if only I could stay at home for a while more. But I don't wanna slip back into my old habit of calling in sick for multiple weeks. I've locked myself in the house way too often now and I gotta keep going. Isolation isn't the right option and I should keep things going like they always do.

But that's hard, I gotta admit. Once you're depressed you only feel like staying in bed all day either sleeping or doing barely anything. It's sad. But true. I'm trying my best not to dwell too much on how bad I feel, even if that's the first thing my mind does.

But that's enough depression talk. What I did today wasn't much besides spending some time with my- or well, our- family. We went to the mall during the afternoon for a while and then spent some time at home together. The kids played their games as Richard and I joined them in the living room. It was peaceful and nice. The kids have proven they can be less out of control than they used to be and that shows how they're growing more used to my situation. They realized I'm in deep need of tranquility and they could always go crazy whenever they're with friends or simply outside. I appreciate it and told them that. They did tell me they're still a tiny bit spooked by you though. After all what happened it's logical, but I figured to warn you to be careful whenever you're taking over and are nearby them. Darwin especially carries a large stack of trauma, which was all caused by us. And Anais and Gumball have trouble forgiving you as well. We'll figure this out eventually. For now, just be as chill as you can and it's all fine.

I just remembered I gotta pick the kids up from school tomorrow, mainly because they asked me so nicely and I couldn't say no. I will probably wait outside for them... because I can't handle seeing the teachers right now. Not after they saw me rampaging through the school after getting triggered by Patrick.

That reminds me, I never heard from Patrick or Penny ever again. Judith did contact me a few times during last months to ask how I've been and we talked a bit. I can always rely on her, that's for sure. I suppose Patrick simply doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. Which I can kind of understand, but it's a tiny bit rude in my opinion. I'll let it go though. Penny I try not to worry about. She seems to be doing fine though, yet Gumball told me she prefers hanging out at her place for now. It's not that she's still afraid of me, since she did save my family before, but rather she's distancing because she doesn't want to be much for me. I should tell her she isn't. She's never been 'too much' or anything like that. Not at all. She's a sweet girl that deserves the world and I just hope she'll realize she's always welcome to come over.

Anyway, I've got a long workday ahead of me tomorrow, so I'll be heading off to sleep. Once again, I'm worried about your absence, Furore. Hope to hear from you in the morning, or anytime tomorrow.

Good night.