I Just Want To Help You

Chapter Nine

Clarke Pov
I don't know how but the four continue to joke while I drift in and out of sleep still holding her hand while she messes with my hair. Somewhere along the line Raven showed up with a change of cloths for me and Luna. I guess she knows how to get in Lunas house so I will have to tease her about that later. I don't leave to change though. I don't want to risk my mom seeing me and kicking me out. Just as I am about to fall asleep I hear the door slide open. "Clarke Griffin" I hear my mothers scolding tone. No one says anything but I can practically see the tension in the room even though I have my face shoved into Lexa's bed even father now.

"Clarke leave you aren't allowed in here" I still ignore her "Don't make me call security" I sit up and pretend to be more excited than I am even though it would be fun "oh is Miller and Bryan on shift or is it Roma and Wells wait wait wait I hope it's Myles and Sterling. I always did get alone with the people who worked in security. You should call them so we can have a little reunion" she just sighs knowing I won that one. "Can we please just talk" "no" "please I didn't know you were going to leave and never come back I thought you would realize you were on the wrong path and come back in a maybe a week but you never did" I go to say no but Lexa puts a hand on my shoulder "Klork shes your mom and she was doing what she thought was right. You guys are getting a second chance. I would do anything to talk to my mom again. You should just talk to her." I look her in the eyes and I know she really wants me to do this.

"Fine" I say as I stand up. I give Lexa a little kiss mostly because I want to and a little because I know my mom was always weirded out by the same gender being affectionate to each other. Then I walk out with my mom following me. We go sit in a conference room and it's awkward for a second when neither of us know what to say. "I truly am sorry Clarke I thought I was doing what was best for you but clearly I was wrong and if I could take it back I would" I know she's being sincere but I can't help but think that everything would have been fine if she never kicked me out. Clarke what are you thinking if she wouldn't have kicked you out then you wouldn't have been on the street and had a revelation that you need to get your act together. You wouldn't have got a job and you wouldn't have met Lexa. Maybe you would have but she would have been throwing you in the back of her car for illegal possession of substances.

I feel a single tear fall from down my cheek as I say "I am sorry I never came back even after I got clean" "it's ok Clarke, when did you get clean?" "A little over a year ago" "I am proud of you Clarke" when she says that I break down with all the feelings crushing down on me that I have held back for the past two years. I just missed my mom. "Oh it's ok" she says as she comes over and hugs me. When we pull away I ask her "so what did I miss the past two years" "nothing has changed that much, what about you what did I miss? How did you meet Lexa" I am surprised that she actually seems interested in my relationship with her. I guess a lot can change in two years.

"Well um I slept at Ravens for a while then we both got kicked out of her house then we just coach surfed for a while till we had no where else to go and ended up on the streets for a while. That's when we realized that we needed to get it together and bought an apartment together and helped each other get clean. Me and her got a job at KB's during the day and then Octavia got clean and got a job at a bar and recommended me and so I also started working nights there till me and Raven could afford to move to a better building and get separate apartments." My mom was in tears as soon as I said me and Raven lived on the street "I am so sorry Clarke I never ment for any of that to happen to you" "it's ok mom I needed it"

"So how does Lexa fit into this" "she was a regular at KB's and the bar till... Do you remember Fin Collins's he came to my six grade birthday party" "ya" "ok so he was the one who got me into all that stuff and he wasn't happy I quit so one night he came into the bar and tried to give me, Raven and Octavia some drugs but Lexa seen and arrested him. They took us to the station to ask us about him and she seen I was struggling so she straight up asked me if I was going to buy drugs and I told her I didn't know so she brought me back to her house so I wouldn't but them I tried to run away and it was a thing but she didn't give up on me. The next morning she signed me up for an inpatient treatment and payed for it and everything. After that we just got closer" I decided to leave the rest out until she asked "how did she get shot" I paused for a second not knowing if I should tell her "Clarke you can tell me anything I promise" so I told her "Fin started stocking me and threatening me with a gun so Lexa would come and help any time things got out of hand but yesterday he came into KB's with the gun and when Lexa and the other three showed up it didn't go so well and she shot him twice and he shot her" she was crying again and hugged me tight "I am sorry" "it's ok mom" "are we ok?" "Ya I think we are" I could hear her sigh of relief and it just felt like everything was falling into place. I had Lexa, now I have my mom back, and Fin isn't a problem anymore.

//

When I walked back into Lexa's room she was sleeping but the other three were still talking quietly. When I sat down Luna asked "how did it go" I just smiled "it went good... I understand if you guys don't want to tell me or think it's not your place but what happened with Lexa's mom" they were silent for a second before Lincoln said "Me, Lexa, and Luna were all adopted legally but Anya was also placed with our family but was never legally adopted. But Lexa is different than us. We were all given up at birth right away, we have never met our parents. But Lex she had a mom till she was 6 and Clarke don't get offended but this is why we were weary of you at first. Lexa's mom loved her but she loved oxy more. When she was six someone called cps on her mom and she was token away even though she didn't want to be. Once she was placed with us she realized just how bad her life was before but she still loved her mom. When she was 11 out adoptive parents agreed to help her find her mom. They did but the day before Lexa was supposed to meet with her she overdosed and didn't make it, and it destroyed Lexa." I looked over at the sleeping girl in the bed and I felt so bad for her.

"What about your guys adoptive parents?" Luna answered this question "they died in a random shooting at the mall. After that Lexa said she wanted to be a cop and we all kind of followed along" Now I felt bad for everyone in the room. They must have been so scared today when Lexa was shot. "I am sorry" "the past is in the past" they all say at the same time which was weird but cool at the same time. It must have been something there parents used to say.

//

After Lexa wakes up later that night when all her siblings are gone she says "don't you have to work tomorrow?" "Ya but I don't want to" "Klork I will be ok if you leave for a couple hours" "that's part of it but I also don't want to go back there. I have spent most of the worst moments of my life in there" "then don't" "Lexa I can't I won't be able to keep my apartment if I quit" "it's not like you stay there anyway" she says with a big grin. "What are you trying to say?" I ask with an equally as big on smile on my face. "Quit KB's, the bar too if you want I know some bad things have happened in there too and move in with me" I kiss her before saying "I can't just live in your house and not pay for anything" "yes you can" "Lex no I can't" "start selling your art then" "Are you being serious right now" "Entirely" she says back and I can't stop the smile that spreads across my face as I lean down to kiss her again. "So is that a yes then" "ya it is." I sleep next to her in her hospital bed that night. (Comment if this paragraph is to hard to understand and I will rewrite it)

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Lexa Pov
A month later Clarke finally quit working at the bar. She insisted on keeping that job till I was better. Now we are boxing up the stuff in her apartment and getting ready to move it to my house. I do her room for her while she does some of the other rooms. She hasn't opened the door in like 2 months so when I open the door it smells a little musty but I still close the door behind me so she doesn't have to look in. I turn on a fan and start packing stuff up for her. Her bed hasn't been touched since I made it for her the day I washed the bedding after everything happened. I feel bad that she never felt comfortable in her own place after that but it makes me even more sure of having her move into mine even though Lincoln and Anya tease me for moving so fast.

"You better not be picking up anything heavy in there" Clarke has been making sure I follow every rule since they let me leave the hospital. I am also pretty sure she calls her mom 50 times a day to make sure everything is normal and to check whether or not I can do stuff. Every time Abby respond with the same thing "Clarke you need to relax she is fine and knows her limits" I follow that up with a I told you so every time. I respond to Clarkes question "I would never and do you want me to bring the bedding or throw it away" it's a moment before she responds with "throw it away" I kind of figured but just wanted to make sure. (Sorry this was a short chapter but trust me the next one is a really cute one to make up for it)