Multifandom one-shots / short stories

Total Asshole || Dr House

"No."

James looked at me funny, then to House with a smile, "You've got to hire someone eventually."

He scoffed, "Fine." snatching the file back, "Wilson, you can go back to your dying patients. I'd hate for something to happen while you were here." He said with sarcastic care.

Wilson simply rolled his eyes, pushing himself up from the seat and leaving the office in complete silence.

"You get a week. It'll be the longest interview of your life, I will ask you to do things unethical, illogical and at times illegal. You will either do these things alongside my team." He gestured into the office next door at three working doctors all mumbling as they scanned over files. "Or you will leave."

I nodded, "Deal."

~~~
Monday, 11:34 a.m
~~~

"Is he always this late?" I questioned, looking at Dr Cameron.

Chase spoke instead, "It is House we're talking about. He'll be on time if he feels like it."

The other man let out a laugh, picking up one of the markers and standing closer to the whiteboard, "We're going to need to start, our patient could be dying."

Finally, House entered the office. His cane was hung atop the whiteboard as he snatched the marker pen, from a man I'd learnt was called 'Foreman', "Only I can write. You should know this by now." With a sarcastic smile, he began writing down a long list of symptoms before turning to us. "Any ideas?"

"Candidiasis?" Cameron suggested, "It would explain-"

"Nope." House stated simply, glancing across the rest of us.

"Could be a fungal infection?" I suggested. When nobody said anything, I decided to continue, "It would explain the patients recent fatigue, aches, chest pain and itchy skin. And patient history says they recently survived cancer causing the immune system to be weakened and therefore chance of cause."

Chase countered, "If that was the case, she would have lost weight or could be suffering from perspiration."

House grinned smugly, "Y/L/N, go with Foreman to her house." He points at the two of us and Foreman is already getting up and towards the door. "check for anything that could cause a fungal infection."

I looked at him in disbelief, mouth slightly agape as he spoke again, "Don't worry, he knows what he's doing."

I nodded, slightly unsure, followed by a scoff as I swiped his keys from the table.

"And us?" Cameron asked.

"Re-do thé..." House paused mid sentence. Just as I was about to leave he called out my name, causing me to turn around. He stood calmly with one hand out and a smug look on his face as I walked towards him, keys jangling in hand. "Good." He admitted, "but not on me, never on me."

I nodded before following Foreman out. We walked in silence for much longer than I thought comfortable but once we were alone in the lift, he spoke, "So, you're my replacement?"

I laughed, "I guess I will be."

"Good, there's a lot you need to know." He gently tapped me on the back as we left the lift and made our way down the corridors.