DERPY KIND! Gravity falls (reader insert)

The Stanchurian Candidate

Stan shudders and walks into the kitchen and tries to turn on a light but the light bulb bursts. He groans and goes to find a new light bulb but finds that the box is empty except for a note that reads: "Dear Stan, I took these to build a planetarium suit for Soos! Sorry! Dipper." Stan grumbles and crumples the note.

Stan also found a note that say, "sorry Mr.pines but I took your coffee pack to stay up."

‼️Cut to Stan waiting in line in a grocery store at the checkout counter with light bulbs.‼️

Robbie, Lee, Tambry and Nate show up behind him.

Lee: Whoa, let's not take this line. There's an old person in it.

Robbie: Psh, yeah. He's probably gonna pay with like, pennies and, war bonds.

Stan: Hey! For your information, I was gonna shoplift most of this.

Cashier: (Having heard that) Security!

Stan: (Security guards rush to Stan) Ha! Smoke bomb! (Stan throws a smoke bomb on the floor that reads "Expire 11/1996"; nothing happens) Aw, seriously? (The security guards tackle Stan) Ahh!

⭐️Cut to Stan coming home bruised with the box of light bulbs.⭐️

Stan: Ugh. Rough start to a day. (Walks towards the kitchen) But it's all gonna be worth it when I fix that light bul — (Stan walks in to see Ford screwing in a light bulb with Dipper, Mabel, and Soos)

Ford: And... we're... done!
Dipper, Mabel and Soos: (Cheer)

Mabel: Does anyone see this? This is what a hero looks like right here. Where's Y/N?

Stan: I thought we were out of light bulbs.

Ford: Oh we were, so I invented my own! It will last a thousand years and the light it emits makes your skin softer.

Dipper, Mabel and Soos: (Rubbing their skin) Oooh!

Soos: Never have I known such softness!
Ford: Anyway, where were you?

Stan: (Drops new light bulbs in the trash; goes to the TV and picks up the remote) Well, TV at least you and Y/N appreciate me. Give me the good news. (Turns on the TV)

Shandra Jimenez: (On the TV:) This just in, the mayor is dead.

Stan: What?!
You teleported by Stan's yelling.

You: whats wrong?
Dipper: (Walks in with Mabel) Whoa, what's going on?

Mabel: (immediately hugs you) where have you been?!
You: I've always been here?
(Lol reference to Gideon rises)

Mabel just nods.

Shandra: (On TV:) Raised by bears in the wilderness, Mayor Eustace Huckabone Befufftlefumpter was best known for raising the water tower, possibly starting World War I, and putting town menace Gideon Gleeful behind bars, in actual adult prison. A memorial statue is already being carved in the deceased mayor's honor. (Cries while her co-host comforts her) I'm sorry. It's just been so long since we've had real news. I'm just so happy! (Keeps crying)

Shandra's co-host: (On TV:) There will be a town hall meeting this afternoon to discuss replacing him.

Stan: (New mayor huh? Wonder who it could be... (Sees his reflection in the TV)

🎶Cut to all the citizens of Gravity Falls in the Town Hall.🎶

Sheriff Blubs: Alright. Order! Order everyone! Calm down now! We're here to choose a mayor for the first time in almost a century. According to the town charter, (unrolls an old scroll as a bat flies out of it) a worthy candidate is defined as anyone who can cast a shadow, count to ten, and throw their hat into the provided ring. (Deputy Durland brings out a hoop and places it on the floor; Bud Gleeful immediately throws his hat in it)