You Are In Love

⋆୨CHAPTER- TWO୧˚| ❝𝐅𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐨𝐧𝐞❞

MEREDITHS P.O.V:

"She doesn't hate me! She doesn't hate me. What the hell! She doesn't hate me?" I say to Cristina as I'm chugging my tequila.
Cristina sighs, "Mer, I don't know how she doesn't hate you either I guess she's just mature or something. She should hate you. Ha, I would."
"You're not funny!" I reply whilst jokingly hitting her arm, slightly laughing.

Just as we were laughing I notice a tall figure walk into the bar from the corner of my eye.
"Oh shit, she's here." I whisper.
"She probably won't come over here anyway, but if she does just act normal. Not that we've been talking about her for the past 10 minutes." Cristina says in reply.

But Addison does indeed walk over to us. Just my luck!

"Dr. Grey, look. I truly am sorry. You didn't deserve that today, I should've noticed sooner that it wasn't your fault. I hope you can forgive me." Addison says, sympathising.
"Dr. Shepherd, I don't know what to say.." I answer, genuinely not knowing how to reply to that.

Do I forgive her? I mean, she didn't know after all. But it could also give me more of a reason to hate her, which is what i've been trying to do this whole time. But I just cant seem to, I'm really trying to hate her but there's just something that's stopping me and I have no idea what.

-4 days later-

The other 4 interns and I are in the locker room getting ready for rounds. I only have to put up with 3 more days of Addison, then I'm free!Well, until I inevitably get out on her service again. Hopefully not soon though.
Bailey walks in and announces, "I am not in the mood for any fooling around today people. And hurry up you're going to be late."
"Yang, you're with me today. Stevens, pit. Try not to kill anyone today. Grey with Dr. Montgomery Shepherd and if I hear you complain about it one more time I swear to god! Anyway, O'malley with Dr. Burke and Karev, scut."

I just cant wait for this week to be over. We all scurry out of the room to go round and sure enough Addison looks like she's ready to shout at me, as usual.
"Dr. Grey, I am not in the best of moods today so let's get this over with, you will go present." She snarks.
"34 year old Sarah McKinning 36 weeks pregnant with twins in for a c-section." I present.
"Good Dr. Grey. Now Sarah, do you have any questions or concerns? Both me and Dr. Grey are willing to answer whatever questions you may have!" Addison smiles.
Sarah sighs, "I'm just nervous, a c-section just isn't what I envisioned and i'm a little disappointed by it, but I know it's the safest option for me and my babies, but I don't think I have any questions."
"Alright then I'lol be back to check on you later then!" The redhead replies.

-after rounds-

I have yet another surgery with Addison today, I'm so nervous. This is my next one since the incident with the hysterectomy, what if I actually do mess up this time? What if she doesn't think I'm doing a good job? Ugh, wait. Why am I craving HER validation? That should be the opposite of what i'm doing. But I can't help it? Honestly it's probably my mommy issues but it's annoying it's with Addison of all people.

As I'm walking down the hallway on my way to collect some test results for Sarah, I run into Izzie. She seems shocked? I'm not sure what happened but I can't tell if it's a good shocked or a bad shocked, it's just shocked.

I ask her, "Hey, Iz! What happened? You seem shocked?"
"Oh you don't wanna know." She says firmly.
I kind of scoff in a joking way, "Cmon Iz what happened it can't be that bad!"
"I just walked in on Derek and Addison, having sex. In an on call room. There, ya happy now?" She says, grossed out but also trying not to laugh.
"Oh. I really did not want to know that!" I walk off laughing.

But it wasn't funny. I don't know what it is, I really don't. However when Izzie told me that, I got this feeling. An Almost.. jealous feeling? But no. I've gotten over Derek why would I be jealous of Addison?
But I'm not. So what is this feeling? And why am I being consumed by it?