Dallas is a freshman in a new place. College. Far away from home. It's the first time that he's ever left home. Now he's going to do it for four years straight?! He's ready and nervous, but when he meets his new roommate Lazaro who's a bit goofy and...
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Right now I had this feeling...this feeling of an abnormal heart rate, chest pains, a headache, it's a full feeling, a cloud hanging over my head right now.
It was our "Friendsgiving", but I no longer felt like eating or partying.
I told him I would be right back, but I just couldn't...I didn't want to watch those two together any more than what I already saw...
They were kissing and they both were enjoying that. He's not my dude and I'm not his so I don't know why I'm acting so weird right now like he owes me something when he doesn't. He can kiss who he wants and I don't have any right to be feeling bad about it.
But I do. It's just a crush, but I fear it may be more than a crush. It's only been 4 months and here I am acting like I've known him for years. I mean it's not like I told him how I felt or anything. I never really showed interest. Of course, we vibe well together, but that doesn't mean that he's feeling me. People never really feel me so I don't know why I even thought for a second that maybe Dallas liked me.
He liked Bryce and Bryce liked him. I mean as confident as I am I'm feeling really inferior to this nigga. I mean he's good-looking, he can dance and has that in common with Dallas, he's nice, he's smarter than me, he's older, more mature, obviously smoother, and he's not deaf. There is no barrier between them and he's a good person. Why did I think I had a chance? I didn't even try.
I just...I was scared. Doesn't matter now because they're together and now I have to live with him knowing that he'll probably bring him around and I'll have to watch them all caked up and shit. My chest feels so weird and my stomach. It's like I'm going down a rollercoaster. What is that? I don't think I've ever experienced this feeling before like this. Not even with my mom.
I took my clothes off that I was wearing at the party and felt my phone continuously go off. It's Dallas of course. I mean I did say I would be right back and then never came back but...I don't really feel like talking. I know he's just going to stay there with Bryce. I just wanna be alone anyway. I'm in my feelings.
I put on my pajamas and tied my locs up before turning off all of the lights and getting into the bed. I sighed feeling emotional, but immediately held it together. I can't be sad over a nigga that's not mine and that doesn't want me. I have to take my loss. I'm used to it.
I sighed and then closed my eyes hoping I didn't dream about him. It's been happening lately. I hate liking people.
I felt a body on mine making me open my open my eyes and jump turning around. Dallas? He's hugging me?
He started saying something but he was going so fast I couldn't read his lips at all.
He took out his phone and I took in his red face. He was stressed. I read the phone after he held it up for me and then looked at him.
Why would you leave like that? What the fuck happened? I was worried about you. I tried to eat but when you never came back I left immediately and came here figuring it's where you would be! Did I do something room? I told you I would be back in 30 minutes and I was only gone for 10. I came back and then you just left and didn't say shit or answer the phone! It's like you could have been dead or hurt or anything and you just didn't answer! Yet you're herein the bed getting rest like you didn't just walk out on me and say nothing! What the fuck was that?!
