I can't do this

London Is Red ❤️🤍

LEAH POV

You can see in Lucy's eyes the pain, you could tell she was beating herself up about it. All them years she was going out winning medals and her daughter was fighting every day to stay alive. "I'm so sorry y/n, I promise to make this up to you." Lucy says with sad eyes. Your heart breaks for your girlfriend, you know how much she's been struggling the past few years wondering what y/ns been up to and how she is.

"I want to go back to school so I can play football, that's the one thing that's kept me grounded. I need to play." She says playing with her hands.

"me and your mum have an England camp in two days, I've already spoke to  sarina she said we can take you, she said you can join in with our training. But we can't draw any attention to you from the media." Lucy adds," and me and Leah arnt public yet so if you get questioned by members of the public about anything you walk away and come and find me."

Y/N POV

Your just stood there frozen, you've always wanted to go see England play, but now your going on camp with them and even get to train with them, this is something you could only have dreamed of.

"sarina asked for your measurements sweetie so she could get you some kits made." You just stand there still taking in everything your mums are saying. Is it going to be busy, the noise is going to be unbearable. You feel your breathing heighten.

Taking a deep breath you talk, " I can't Thankyou both enough, I don't deserve any of this." You say not knowing what to think. Immediately they both scoop you up into a hug.

Later that day...

Your sat in your room looking around. What did I do to deserve such luxury. You still have so many questions to ask Lucy but you don't want her to get mad bringing up the past. Your head can't stop spinning at the fact your going to have to meet all these new people.

There's a knock at the door.

"Hello you." Lucy says peaking her head around the door.

"hi, you ok??" You question bluntly.

Lucy takes a deep breath " the things you brought from your old house is that eveything you own." She says sitting down on the edge of your bed looking at you.

The mention of your old house makes you feel sick. " yeah" you say with a frown on your face. You hated the way your old clothes felt on you, you just wanted to leave it all in the past.

" hayy, it's ok. I've got somthing to show you. " lucy says grabbing ahold of your hand and practically dragging you down the stairs excitedly. This makes you nervous. As you enter the kitchen the table is full with wrapped presents.

"is it someone's birthday. Im so sorry I didn't wish anyone happy birthday this morning." You start to get upset. It's hard because you don't know much about your mum or her partner. You avoid there eye contact looking down at your hands and rocking back and fourth on your toes.

" well no it's not." Leah states sending you into a confused state. Unable to help your nervous you continue to rock back and fourth on your feet.

"me and Leah went out for an hour after lunch while you were in your room." She says softly walking towards you. You feel awful for not being able to give them time to themselves. " that's nice, I'm sorry you can't spend quality time together."

Leah takes your hands in hers and guides you over to the table" stop talking for a second sweetie and open this." It's an envelope with your name on. you look up confused but carry on opening it. Inside it read

To our baby girl

Happy birthday x 12
Im sorry I haven't been there for your birthdays but hopefully now I can try and make up for that, when I picked you up off the streets and brought you home I knew you where the missing piece to our family.