Smexy lady's one-shots

sshhh ( Farah Dowling )

I think even Stella sensed that something was wrong because out of the blue, she asked if everything was okay and if there was anything she could do for me.
I thought it was sweet that she was worried, but I told her everything was fine and that I am probably just tired. I could have told her, but Miss Dowling might not have wanted that and I don't want to be a burden to anyone.

" I'm going to take a walk and get a cup of tea. Don't stay up for me. I'll come back quietly if it gets late. "
" Okay, but if there's anything, you know we'll always help you, right? "
" Yes, I know. Thank you. " I said with a grateful smile that she returned to me before walking out of the room.

I don't know where I wanted to go. My legs seemed to be on automatic pilot and just went their own way. I was also back in my own thoughts, so I didn't notice that I had walked into her office, or yes the office of her assistant. It was only when I stopped walking that I woke up and saw that I was standing in front of her door. By now most people were in bed or in their rooms, but the light shining under the door was proof that someone was still inside.

I couldn't stay with this. It would not be good for me or for Miss Dowling. So I took a deep breath and gently knocked on the door.
" Come in. " I heard her voice say, but something in her voice didn't seem right. It was too shaky and unsteady.

I exhaled and carefully opened the door. She sat with her back to me and seemed to be doing something with her face.
" M- Arghm- Miss Dowling? " I said cautiously as I walked closer to her desk.

She turned around and although most had seen nothing wrong with her, I could see traces in and around her eyes that she had been crying.

" Y/N, what can I do for you? If you are worried about earlier I can assure you that- "
" Madam, please. We both know that all is not well. I don't want you to think that I feel sorry for you or that I am making fun of you or want to make fun of you. I just want to let you know what might be going on and that if you need someone, I want to be there for you. I think you are suffering from PTSD. PTDS stands for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and can occur because someone has experienced a frightening situation. It can cause stress, anxiety, flashbacks, and nightmares.... and is not good if you stay with it. We know your story with Rosalind to a large extent I think and we know you have been through a lot. I do believe that your friends like Mr. Saul and Ben are there for you, but they have been through it too and may not be so forthcoming about this either. Therefore. If you want to talk, I am happy to be the listening ear. "

I was shaking myself now and a tear slid down my cheek. The stress, social anxiety, and guilt I had towards her was all on display now and it made me think she was going to start laughing at any moment. I want to help her with her problems when I can't even control mine properly?!

The laughing fit, to my surprise, didn't come though. Instead, she burst into tears and my heart stopped. I walked over to her and held her as I began to apologize to a conveyor belt.

I made her cry. This is all my fault. This is why you never talk to others y/n. You do nothing but bring pain anyway.

Tears were running down my cheeks now too and the voices in my head were so loud now that I didn't notice her looking at me.

" Darling, why are you saying sorry? This is not your fault. "
" Yes, it is. It is. If I had not come here and if I had not said all those things, you would not be so sad now and you would not have thought me so ridiculous. But yes how can you not, I want to help you when I am not even in control of my own problems. I- " I rattled on and on and was completely losing control.

Now the roles were reversed and Miss Dowling grabbed me.
" Ssshh, all is well. Breathe baby. Listen to my heart and breathing and try to follow the rhythm. "

After a minute everything was back to normal and we sat together on her sofa. She was holding my hands and I could feel her looking at me, but I dared nothing more than to look at the ground. I had made such a fool of myself and now here she was having to help me instead of me helping her.

" I uh... I just had to go. I'm sorry about all this. I won't bother you anymore. " I whispered. I stood up, but her hands still holding mine gently pulled me back.
" Dear, you have nothing to be sorry for. I know about your problems since you told me about them at the beginning of the year. Something that takes a lot of courage and something I should have done too, but didn't. First of all, because I didn't know what was wrong with me but also because I didn't have that courage. I am happy to take you up on your proposal, but only if you let me help you too. We've got this... together. "

Her hand that she had placed under my chin to make me look at her shifted to my cheek where she caressed me. I leaned into her hand closed my eyes and let my body relax. From the first moment I was with her, I had felt safe and that was only reinforced now.

" Deal. " I whispered softly and looked into her eyes as I smiled kindly and with relief at her.
" Good. Now, may I kiss you? "
" Please... "

We leaned in at the same time and our lips touched in the middle with a fireworks-worthy kiss. If we could, sparks would fly...

And that's how I met your mother. ;)