Break Down

The Amazing Spider Man

I was gonna do

Harry Potter.

But then somebody suggested

That I do

THE AMAZING ASS HAT

No wait...

I mean the Amazing Spider Man

Close enough

So first of all

This movie is a piece of shit.

It was made

Because they had to make it

So that's why

It was a piece of shit

So his folks are all,

"Lol bye bitch"

And leave him

With his aunt and uncle

Who btw are little bitches

His parents die

Because that's the life

Of a super hero

So now we see

Peter Parker

As a dude

Who is just like any teenager

Yeah all that bullshit

Now I have to give it

To those writers

Or acting coaches

Who made Peter

STUMBLE OVER EVERY

GOD DAMN WORD

AND HAVE GIANT HAIR.

That's just Edward Cullen with a stutter

He likes this slut

I mean whore

I mean bitch

Who is super cute

And hot

They are semi friends

She friend zones him

A lot

And his uncle embarrasses

The shit out of Parker

And all this stuff

Until the uncle

Who looks a gazillion years old by now

Gets murdle-lurdled

That's "murdered" for those who

Can't comprehend

My language.

And Peter

gets all emo

His aunt is all,

"Wahh..."

So Peter

Gets some box

That explains his whole family history

Yes it's a simple box

Then there's a lot of research

Reaaaallly boring shit

You could fall asleep

And not miss anything

Until he gets to