The Afterglow

Chapter 13; Weight of the Aftermath

Peter paced back and forth outside the bedroom, repeating the three steps that May had given him over and over again in his mind. He had finally worked up the courage to try and smooth things over, but he still had no idea what to say. At first he had figured he'd wing it, but once he reached the door, his feet had grown cold.

"Pull it together, Peter! Listen, talk, grovel. It's simple." He scolded himself. "Yeah. Yeah! She's easy to please."

Feeling more confident with his affirmation, he twisted the handle and pushed the door open. Gwen lifted her head upon his entrance and shifted almost uncomfortably on the bed, ready to get up and leave if it came to it.

"No, sit." He told her firmly.

"Didn't realize that I was your pet dog now." She smirked.

"That's not what I was implying and you know it, you're just commenting to wind me up and I can assure you that it's not gonna work."

Gwen let out a heavy breath, but settled back down in her seat. She wanted to stay mad, but was slowly running out of reasons, making it impossible. Even more than she wanted to be mad, she wanted to hear what he had to say.

"Yeah, I didn't mean that." She admitted. "And I've been thinking…"

"You have?"

"Mm-hm." She nodded. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I have been overreacting, and I'm sorry. It's just when-"

"Okay, let me stop you there." He cut in. "If anyone should be sorry, it's me. You were completely justified and your feelings were- still are, valid. I was the one who was in the wrong."

"Really?" She questioned.

Peter attempted a smile and then sat down beside her on the bed, placing his hand on her upper back. "Yes. You were worried about me, and you were scared because I left you alone after what happened and I shouldn't have."

"No, you shouldn't have and yet you did."

"It was a mistake and I know that now, but I wasn't thinking straight." He admitted. "It's just unfortunate that I didn't realize it before it was too late."

"Too late?" Gwen's eyes widened in question. "You didn't… you know?"

"No, no. He's still breathing." He assured her. "But I almost…"

"Wait, what do you mean?"

"I'd rather not get into it right now, let's just say that I made a huge mistake and by the time I realized it, it almost got me killed."

"Peter!" She gasped.

"Gwen, please… don't make me talk about-"

"I wasn't going to." She said softly. "I just… I'm glad that you're okay, I was afraid that you would get badly hurt or- or worse." She told him, unable to stop her voice from breaking.

Wiping at her eyes, Gwen quickly recomposed herself and leaned against his side. Peter managed to relax as he thought about how easy it had been to smooth things over compared to what he was expecting, and with a wry smile, he pulled her closer.

"You can't get rid of me that easily, I'm afraid." He quipped.

"That's not funny!" She scolded him.

"I know, I'm sorry. I can't help it." He shrugged with a chuckle. "But seriously, I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing. Once is enough, and it's okay."

"It's not though. I've been so unfair to you, and not just tonight but pretty much since we've been back in New York. I've been so selfish, not listening to you and lying to you for over a year only to cause you more pain and much more. I've been a jerk and it's not okay." He rambled. "And while I can't change any of it, I am promising that I will do better from now on."