I'm Gonna Write a Book

Girl's Night

Before all the drama, my dad was driving home from Jared's house one night and I had asked how old Jared was. I assumed like 39-42. My father tells me he is actually 50 years old. I was surprised because he didn't look it. I said,

"That's so weird. If I saw him at a bar and I didn't know who he was, I'd assume he was late thirties. "

My dad laughed. 

To my surprise the next time I was at Jared's my dad drunkenly made a joke that I had said,

"If Amanda met you at a bar Jared, she would hit on you."

I was mortified. I didn't think my dad would twist my words like that. As I am mentally freaking out and turning beat red Jared turns to me and says,

"I would gladly accept" 

My heart skipped a beat, and my pussy gained one. 

I actually didn't know what to do or how to process that information. My mind drifted back to this one time in high school (17) I went over to dinner at Jared's house one night with my dad and brother. There was this moment when I was sitting at the table outside and had one of those awkward eye catches. I happened to look up from my phone and catch Jared patting his woman's ass. Then Jared and I made eye contact, I remember feeling embarrassed and flustered that I had noticed. I never thought much of it after I left. Honestly, haven't thought about that in years until Jared said he would gladly accept. 

Now let's return to what happened yesterday. I fled to my grandmother's house. I woke up the next morning feeling sheepish and guilty. I couldn't believe that I snuggled up next to Jared as he rubbed my ass. And my dad saw. Then lost his shit on me and not Jared. My brain keeps exploding as I type this. My father had tried to call me multiple times and I had a lot of messages. I was so emotional during my dad's outburst that I had texted my ex boyfriend Gene. I had said my dad beat the shit out of me, but I didn't remember that happening. I was a little sore in my shoulders and legs, but I didn't think my dad hit me. I think he just got in my face and I was sore from trying to back away into the floor and walls. I feel bad for painting my dad in that bad of light. 

Gene was concerned and told me I needed to leave California and return to Florida for my own good. I want to go back but my crazy, dumb self wants to continue to get to know Jared. I think his moral code would never allow himself to be with me, but that only makes me want him more. I can't explain what's wrong with me. 

To my surprise Jared called me when I was sulking on the couch alone. I was too chicken to answer, I was worried he was calling to apologize and I didn't want to hear that. I may have put on a good front, but I sure as fuck was not sorry. He then texted me,

Friday 12:13AM

J: We are home

Friday 1:51AM

M: im headed back to florida, kenny is on a warpath

J: Sorry I was knocked out. Just got up 🤦‍♂️. Why is kenny on a warpath

J: You can come here for the day if you need

J: Image of Brandy Bean chocolates*

J: Look what came yesterday.

J: Just please let me know you are ok

M: thank you im okay im just really sorry i was so out of line yesterday. not sure where to go or what to do. i couldnt stay home cuz my dad went ballistic just kind of trying to stay out of the line of fire 😂 and again im so sorry

J: No need for sorrys

J: Come here

J: im guessing I missed the out of line part because I dont remember you being out of line