The Vacation That Changed Everything (Bob Duncan Fan Fic)

Chapter One

my name is bob duncan. let me tell you about myself. i'm married to my wife amy. we have 5 kids together: pj, teddy, gabe, charlie, and toby. we were not a perfect family but what is a perfect family? family fight, but we will always be there for each other no matter what.

anyways, i just woke up. the kids and amy were eating breakfast as I walked into the kitchen.

"hi darling, want some toast?" any asked me as she gave me a smile.

"sure," i replied. i was a bit tired. charlie accidentally put some laxatives in my water last night and it kept me in the bathroom all night. maybe if teddy kept her eyes on that lil bitch instead of vlogging on her cheap ass camera, SHIT LIKE THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN!!!!

"i can't contain my excitement any longer!! here's your present." amy screamed out handing me a small bag.

present? is today my birthday? no it can't be. i usually get porn discounts in my inbox on my birthdays and i already checked my email.

"YOU FORGOT DIDN'T YOU?? YOU FORGOT!! FUCK I SHOULD'VE KNOWN YOU'RE UNGRATEFUL ASS WOULD FORGET OUR ANNIVERSARY!!" amy cried out. Lol iT was funny, but shit!! i forgot it was our 22nd anniversary.

"of course I didn't honey!! i have a present waiting upstairs," i bluffed. shit shit shit the laxatives must still be in me, "i'll go get them now!"

i ran upstairs with the present amy gave in hand and grabbed my laptop and locked myself in the bathroom. i opened up amy's gift and gasped so loud and hard that it stopped my anus from functioning for a sec. She... She's the best. SHE GOT ME DR PHILL'S SEASON 1 ON DVD!! Last month, I lost my copy because pj and gabe fucking used it as a frisbee and broke it. Not only the dvd shattered, but my heart shattered with it.

i googled some present ideas because fuck i forgot what amy was rambling on about wanting the other night. i love her but that bitch talks a mile a minute. i got it! this present will benefit the whole family. i bought 6 tickets to go to a resort in the bahamas. toby ain't going, that little fuckboy cries too much and I wanna get my freak on with Amy without any interruptions. teddy can take care of charlie for once instead of making those good lick charlie videos.

i flushed and wiped my tushie clean. i found some of amy's feminine intimate wipes the other day and started wiping. it was a new experience but i've never felt anymore clean.

i printed the tickets and i skipped downstairs excited to tell those bitches my news. or amy's anniversary present. either one it still makes me excited!! i can't wait to pack my bikini.