Heart Strings Entangled (BOOK #1)

Prologue

She was struggling to breathe, drowning by her own tears, only by herself in a room embraced by darkness. A lot of voices that keeps hunting her, words that full of invalidations, a roaring voice that could make you flinched. She pulled and pulled her hair and even hurt herself just to put an end of all the voices that feels like a monster that live in her mind for over a years. She who hold back her screams, hides her scars full of agony, not letting anyone see her devastating state, afraid that she might invalidated again.

"You should not be like that.."

"Tama sila.. wala kang kwentang anak."

"You live your life in prosperity, you're being ungrateful!"

"Patricia! You ungrateful child!"

"I have done everything to give you what you need! Ano pa bang kulang ha?!"

"Hindi ka na nakuntento!"

"Hindi ka na nahiya!"

"Walang kwenta! Walang modo!"

"Hindi ka talaga marunong tumanaw ng utang na loob sa mama mo."

"Gumaya ka sa pinsan mo mabait na nga marami pang na achieve."

"Ang pangit ng ugali mo kahit kailan di ka na ata magbabago."

Voices that could pull all the triggers that relive the past that was forced to be forgotten. Patricia did not only hear voices, but images that keeps reminding her misery. Their eyes that tell how worthless she is, invalidating her feelings as a child, and a chaos environment filled with anger and wrath. In result, she was drowned...

Sa sobrang gulo, mundo niya'y biglang gumuho, na napalitan ng pagkaguluhan, iniisip kung kailan siya makakahanap ng lugar na magsasabihing walang mali sakaniyang nararamdaman, ngunit paano? kung siya'y naitulak na palayo, palalim ng palalim, sa karagatang madilim. Paano siya makakaalis? Kung mismo ang kaniyang paligid ang umayaw sakaniyang pag alis.

She on the other hand tried to lessen up the sobbing noise she make, while she's suffering from all the questionable feelings, a torment voices and images that keeps popping up in her mind, as darkness and her miserable cries embraced her entire room, made her feel like she was choking to death and as if her stomach turned upside down.

She felt her chest tighten, as her tears continuously flowed. It hurts. It's exhausting.

"Please s-stop.." She mumbled in between of her sobs. "I-I'm so f-freaking tired.. so tired." Patricia muffled in a quavering voice, as she lay down on the cold floor weakly. Then, the moonlight caught her attention, she then closed her eyes, making a wish for her agony to end.

Sana ang paghihirap ko'y magkaroon na ng wakas, dahil malapit ng maubos ang aking lakas...

She then start praying with her somber voice..

Panginoon ko, presensya mo sana ay saakin ay ibigay, para ang sigasig ko ay muling tumibay, ako'y nangangailangan ng iyong gabay..

Dahil yung liwanag ko'y unti unting nauubos, para na akong kandilang nauupos...

Ako'y nangangailangan ng iyong presensya.. Maaari ko bang maramdaman ngayon, aking ama?Maaari bang saiyong tabi ako'y magpahinga?

Kahit saglit ako'y makaramdam ng katahimikan at payapa, gamit ang iyong yakap at presensya..

Hwag niyo sana akong pababayaan sa madilim na kawalan, sobrang bigat at poot po ang aking nararamdaman.. Gusto ko ng makaalis at makawala sa aking kinatatayuan, sobrang gulo na puno ng puot at kalungkutan, parang sa larangan ng digmaan..

Ayoko ko po nito panginoon ko.. napapagod na po ako..

Gusto ko ng magpahinga, Aking ama, maaari ba?

Ako'y nasasakal sa poot at kalungkutan, Pakiusap.. gusto ko na itong matapos at lumisan.. Dahil ako'y nag iisang lumalaban, sa walang buhay na kawalan, habang walang makakapitan..

Maaari bang presensya mo'y maging aking takbuhan?

Nakakasakal.. Nakakapagod... Ang hirap...

Sobrang hirap.. d-diyos ko..

Gusto ko ng makaalis sa aking paghihirap..

Gusto ko ng magpahinga p-panginoon ko..

M-Maaari ba?

K-Kasi pagod na pagod.. n-na pagod na po a-ako..

Kaniyang panalangin na sana'y dinggin. As she fell asleep with her own tears laying on the cold floor.

She handled her own agony, whereas the people who are close to her keeps on tormenting her, not knowing her difficulties trying to win again her silent battles. She who hold onto her own strength, that slowly dying in her grasp.

Kaya saan pa kakapit? Kung binibigay lang ng iba ay pasakit? Kapag nawala na ang sariling sigasig, saan na kukuha ng lakas? Kung ang mga tao sa paligid niya ang siyang nagbibigay sakaniyang wakas?

Saan muli hahanapin? Ang sariling matagal ng nawala kasama sa ihip ng hangin. Saan muli makakahanap ng pag asa? Kung ito na ay unti unti ng nawawala, kung ang mismo ang kaniyang sarili ay naging kaaway na niya. Paano pa makakalaban? Sa larangan ng digmaan, kung saan ikaw lang mag isa ang siyang sasabak sa digmaan.

Pamilya na dapat sana'y kaniyang maging takbuhan, ngunit bakit ito'y naging dahilan na siya ay nasasaktan, at hindi isang munting sandalan. Sabi ng iba, tanging pamilya mo ang iyong karamay, sa puot at hirap ng buhay, ngunit bakit sa setwasyon niya sila'y humiwalay?

She who lose her purity, a child who once become a happy go lucky, bringing bloom and joy, yet she lose the light that makes her bright, leaving only a dry as dust that lost its color to bloom on its own. She was once happy, however, people makes Patricia lose its happiness.. Her light.

Just like a sunflower, it cannot bloom without sunlight.

~ . ~

This is only a work of fiction. A product of authors imagination and does not contain any realistic event in real life.

Happy and enjoy reading! Godbless! - Ms. K