(COMPLETED) [His Stolen Innocence] (Shu x Lui)

Part 4

All I remembered was darkness. I had always been a lonely boy - my parents were deadbeats who couldn't decide who they wanted me to be, and it created this warped reality in my mind where I had to be anything but myself to fit in. That I was never a person worth anything and had to become someone I hated just to get the validation and acceptance I had craved for so long. I'll admit, I've done some things I'm far from proud of, and I would do them again because in the moment, it was all I wanted. All I had ever craved. But that's just the life of a people-pleasing perfectionist. I was set up to fail from the beginning, and it wasn't fair. But when has life ever been fair?

I guess he was stuck in a similar boat, but he didn't have someone to save him when he was drowning. I had none other than the wonder boy on my side. But all he got was added pressure and stress from both us and the rest of his peers. So he was forced to travel down his life on that path. I guess we really didn't think of the aftermath. Was it intentional? Were we delusional? Did we understand what we were doing at all? What a waste of such a precious boy, I will admit. We took advantage of him and now we ruined it. And I learned to hope that he would recover, and a genuine smile he would discover. But it seemed life had other plans. I've been moments away from the same fate at times, but something always gets thrown in my face to stop me. To make me reconsider my options, as much as I hate it. Sometimes I really do believe that God has favourites, and they aren't always the best people.

I picked Spryzen up and sighed, turning him around in my hand. I didn't deserve him. I didn't deserve any of them. I'm a monster. I knew that better than anyone. Valt and Lui had now left and I was left to my own thoughts. Maybe that was mistake number one because thoughts could be deadly. They should know that better than anyone. They should know I was never sane enough to be left alone to begin with. I shouldn't be allowed to exist, especially not by myself. They had recently restocked my house with things necessary for survival - cleaning products, food, stuff to cook with etc. They forgot I was grieving man who was still recovering from being a destructive monster.

I heard the door open and looked up, surprised. I definitely locked that after they left. How did they manage to get back in? Nobody has a spare key, Valt managed to lose my only one and I have had anymore cut. Xander emerged with a hearty laugh, glancing around the place. "It still hasn't changed since I was last here. I guess you never really were one for change, though, were you?"

"How did you get in here?" I glanced between him and the door. I know he didn't learn to break into people's houses at the dojo. Unless Ukyo taught him, which seemed fitting.

"You taught me how to pick locks, remember?" He smirked, and I never hated myself more than I do now. Why do I teach people to do this stuff? It only screws me over in the long run.

"You dare use my own tricks against me, Xander?" We both burst out laughing before he brought me into a hug, and I was suddenly on the brink of tears. I don't remember the last time someone hugged me, and I had never realised how much I craved the embrace. It made my chest hurt.

"You know, you have always been here for us through the highs and lows - given us everything we needed and more. I think it's time we return the treatment. You're still human, Shu, just like the rest of us, and I think we all seem to forget that. You're the youngest here, and yet you are the strongest out of the lot of us. Thank you for all you've sacrificed for people who didn't always deserve it." You could hear him choking on his words, and if he wasn't holding me I think I would have collapsed. My entire body had gone numb. "Hey, um, just a reminder. No one prepared you for what you were going to go through. There's no way you could have been prepared. And yet you still handled it with grace and you still did the best that you could. And that is enough. You have survived one hundred percent of your worst days and you are still here. I don't care that you're low right now. I don't care where on that spectrum you are. You are still here after all that. I am so proud of you. If no one has told you today, I'm so proud of you."

It hurt. It hurt so much. I don't think I can do this anymore. Just make the pain go away. I heard the front door slam open and an irritated sigh came from the door. "I can't leave you alone for thirty minutes, can I?"

"I'm sorry..." I murmured, breaking away from the hug with Xander only to be tackled by Lui and lifted into the air, swung around like I was some rag doll.

"You want something to eat? I brought McDonald's." Lui grinned, and I let out a small laugh. He knows me too well. I nodded, glancing at Xander, who gave me a small, proud smile. Is this what it feels like to know that you're not alone? It felt nice. "Question before you go into la la land and think about how blessed you are to have been graced with my existence."

He sat me on the table as he got the food out, and I just watched him for a second. He's worse than Valt sometimes. "What is it?"

"Have you read the letters Valt gave you yet?" He asked, glancing at me, and I took in a quick breath. I had been avoiding them this entire time. I had feared what they had held.

I shook my head. "No. Not yet. Have you?"

"No. Hey, Xander, you wanna open our letters for us?" Lui asked, throwing the letter on the table. Xander glanced between the letter and us.

"I'm not solving your problems for you. What am I, a Saint?" Lui scowled at him, and I let out a small chuckle. "Did you say Valt gave them to you? Strange."

"Strange how?" I glanced at Xander, who only shrugged. What did he know? I looked away from him when I heard Lui rummaging through the kitchen drawers. I ate a couple of fries before deciding to question him. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to find your damn letters." He said, and I continued to watch him struggle to reach my cupboards. I had a feeling this would happen.

"I put them on the top shelf of the middle cupboard." I told him, and I could feel him glaring daggers into my skull as I helped myself to more fries. "What?"

"You did that on purpose, you asshole." He spat, and I gave an innocent shrug. He got a dining chair and used it to reach the top shelf, getting the letters and throwing them on the table. "Open them together?"

"Yeah." I agreed, curious as to what they had to hold. I almost wish I had never opened them. It would have made this a lot less harder to deal with him. It would have let me keep what was left of my humanity. It's not fair. Why did it have to come to this?