Déjà Vu (Slow Updates)

009

9
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I felt myself sipping more and more down the rabbit hole. You selfish, cheating bitch 

It screamed back at me.

I was sitting in Regina's garden, after what transpired between Dexter and I.

I slipped out the door making sure not to get caught.

I came here many of times throughout my childhood because it was the place were I sat to think.

Oh how I had missed Regina.

She always seem to know what to say for any situation. I also missed my adopted mother even though I didn't even know her. Ever since I was little I heard stories of Skylar's feistiness, boldness, and how she didn't allow anyone to walk over her.

I wondered would I still be in the same situations that I was in now if she was still alive?

She was known to get into her fair share of troubles but she never faltered and always took things head on without hesitation.

"Hey, I've been looking for you." I heard Marcus as he sat down next to me.

"Wow." He said taking in the garden in front of him.

I only nodded in agreement. "Regina always had an eye for beautiful things."

"Who is Regina?" He asked wrapping one of his arms around my shoulders.

"She was my grandmother." I said looking towards him with a sad smile. I didn't have to say much more on the subject because suddenly he wrapped both of his arms around me, pulling me into a warm embrace.

I didn't reject it relaxing into his arms but little did he know my current sadness wasn't for Regina but for him.

I was a fucking coward because I couldn't bring myself to tell him.

I had just a taste of Dexter and I had wanted more.

I knew that now from earlier and ever since that night it's been eating me up.

I thought about how I had brought this man here to meet my family and yet I wanted to be in the arms of another. However it was like Lisa said, was I really about to throw all of this away for some cocky bastard?

Havana you've only known him for two days and that was the reality of it all.

How did I let some one night stand almost mess up one of the most important things in my life?

We only had two more days here until new years and after that it would be back to New York and I would never see him again.

I could do this.

What Marcus didn't know wouldn't hurt him, is what I told myself. I suddenly had this new resolution within that wanted to be better than I had been and she would be.

✞

"Where have you guys been?" Charlie asked seeing Harper and I walk in with shopping bags. Everyone always rushed out for the deals on black friday but the deals on the day after Christmas wasn't half that bad.

Harper and I had went to multiple stores and I even made sure to stop by victoria secret to get some new lingerie pieces.

"Obviously shopping." Dexter muttered sitting on the couch next to Marcus with a beer in his hand.

"I said where dipshit not what." Charlie said in which Dexter only rolled his eyes in respond with a smirk.

There seem to be some light heartedness that surrounded them to my relief. I was glad that they were all getting along.