Never Be The Same - A Charlie and Nick Story

Chapter 12 - Monday Blues

"Charlie!" I hear from behind me, breaking me from my thoughts. I turn slowly to see Elle. She gets closer and when she does, she stops just in front of me. "What's wrong?" Her voice is full of slight concern. Look at you making your problems someone else's. "It's nothing. Just my writing assignment did not go well." I try to say calmly. She looks me up and down before smiling. "That sucks but we all get a bad grade every now and then." She pauses to wrap her arm in mine. I hold back a small grunt when her arm brushes against my bandaged bicep, a burning sensation rushing through my arm. We start to walk into the building as she says "I failed my midterm for ceramics last semester but I was able to pick up my grade in the end with no problems. I know you can do it Charlie!" I force a smile.

We get to class and everyone is there, including Nick. I force another smile and give a small wave. He smiles softly back, blushing slightly. Elle and I take our seats and I feel Nick's gaze fall on me. I turn my head and see him eagerly waiting for me to talk. I look to the front room to see if the professor is there, which they are not. "It was f-good." I say a little too quickly. His gaze softens and he tries to hide the concern he has. "What did he do?" He says, his tone turning harshly. I hesitate before answering. "Nothing. He did not do anything." I feel his hands grab mine under the table, his thumbs brushing across my knuckles. "What did he say to you?" His voice filling with jealousy.

I just shake my head as I look down into my lap. "I really do not want to talk about it, Nick." I whisper. I feel his hands let go of mine which causes me to look up at him. His face is twisted with hatred. He doesn't hate you Charlie. The look he is giving is not for you. "Nick, it's fine. Nothing is wrong." I say softly which just makes him close his eyes. He takes a few deep breaths before looking at me, his arms wrapping across his chest. His index finger starts drawing circles on his skin. Look what you did Charlie. You are making him anxious now.

"Char... you're lying." He whispers and I see the hand that is drawing on his own skin starts to shake a little. I feel a weight fall on my chest and I find it a little hard to breathe. Under the table, I pull my flannel sleeve up and dig my nails into my forearm. With the act, I take an incredibly deep breath, the overwhelming urge calming slightly. Before either of us can say someone shouts loudly that form is cancelled. The professor just sent an email saying that their car broke down and they will not be making it to campus. People start cheering and packing their things up, excluding Nick and I. "You want to go to go to the Chat?" Sahar asks the group. I stand up quickly as I sling my backpack over my one shoulder. "I can't. I have homework so I am going to do it at my apartment." I lie. I walk out of the room without looking at my friends.

Once I walk out of the building, I start to feel dizzy so I slow down my pace as I make my way back to the apartment. The edges of my vision start to become fuzzy so I find the closest table to sit at. I pull my water bottle from my bag and take a few sips, closing my eyes to try to stop the word from spinning. Again, I take a few more sips before shoving the bottle back in my bag. I start to walk again, slowly this time until I finally make it back to the parking lot of my apartment complex. As I get closer to the building, I see Nick standing outside the sliding glass doors of the lobby. "Charlie, you ran off." He says when I get close to him. I jumble in my pocket for my keys instead of answering. He takes a step closer.

"Char, do not push me away." He whispers, his hand reaching for mine which I let him take completely. My heart starts racing. "Please talk to me." His other hand reaches for my one hip. My head starts to spin and I feel lightheaded. "Charlie. You do not look okay." Nick says as his hands reach to the side of my face, holding my cheeks softly. "I'm f-fine." My voice cracks and his eyes fill with concern. I feel my knees start to buckle but Nick catches me before I actually fall. "Charlie, what's wrong? " Nick says softly as he wraps my arm around his shoulder. "I-I don't f-feel very w-well." I force myself to say.

My vision starts to blur more and I can't help but grip onto Nick. "Charlie, where are your keys?" Nick says, his voice full of panic. I can feel him shaking against my body as his hands reach into my pocket. Before I can say anything else, he swoops me up into his arms and he carries me inside. Please no one see us...

He takes me up the staircase to my floor and fumbles with the keys while he holds me. He eventually gets the door open and he quickly moves to place me down in my bed. I blink a few times, clearing some tears from my eyes. I hear the front door shut as I sit up. I try to take my bag off my shoulders but Nick runs into the room and helps me. "Charlie, just lay down. Okay? I am going to make you some tea really fast." He says and literally runs out of the room. I lay back down and close my eyes, except that seems to make the world spin more so I just lay flat on my back and look at my ceiling.

A few minutes later, Nick is back in my room. He helps me sit up before handing me the cup. He takes his and my shoes off before climbing into the bed behind me. He pulls me back so my back is resting against his chest. He runs his hand through my hair, trying to calm me down... or maybe to calm himself down. I take a few sips of the tea and place it down on my nightstand. I let my head fall to rest on the front of his shoulder and I close my eyes, the world spinning a little less than before.

We sit there for a few minutes before Nick breaks the silence. "Charlie. What happened?" He asks softly. I turn to the side so I can face him, he lifts his leg into a bent position so I can use it as a back rest. "It's fine, Nick. Don't worry." His hand comes to rest on the face and I let my head fall into his hand. "Charlie, you literally fainted on me outside. It's not fine... Please tell me what's happening." He whispers. I close my eyes which causes him to rub my cheek softly with his thumb. "You can tell me anything, Char." He adds when I do not say anything.

"Uh... Talking with Ben did not go well." I say before turning to rest my back against his chest again. I can't look at him... I am so embarrassed. "What did he say?" He asks. I start to shake my head softly but I force out what I want to say. "He was hurt and he said 'how someone so shitty could just ghost someone like that. It's like a one night stand without the... sex.' And then he said that I was so d-disgusting and walked out of f-form." Nick doesn't respond but instead, he wraps his arms around me and his head falls onto my shoulder.

"Charlie. I am so sorry." He whispers, his voice slightly muffled from his face being in my flannel. "We should have just sent him a DM instead of you confronting him. Or I should have been there-" His words getting faster as he continues. "It was stupid to think that he wouldn't try to hurt you and make you feel guilty even though he was the dick first. We should have just done what you said and just DM-ed him instead and you could have ignored him in form and you wouldn't feel the way you feel but Charlie..." He lifts his head and kisses the top of my head.

"You are an amazing person. You are such a beautiful person, inside and out. You are so caring and selfless. You are my favorite person." This causes me to turn around completely between his legs, facing him. His eyes are starting to water. "Nick, I am okay now." I say and hold his face between my hands. "You fainted, Charlie. I was so scared... I am scared. I care about you so much and I do not want you to feel like that. I promise you are not disgusting. I like you so much." A tear streams down his cheek and I kiss it away. I pull back and see him smiling softly. Just tell him Charlie...

"I just haven't... um.." My voice trails off and I let my hands fall from his face. He takes my hands in his and holds him to his chest in a comforting way. "I haven't eaten much the past couple of days so I think that's why I fainted." He looks at me, his eyes widening slightly but he quickly softens them. "When did you eat last?" He says cautiously. "Um, Thursday or Friday." I say embarrassed. Nick pulls me into an incredibly tight embrace. His hand goes to the back of my head, his fingers twisting in my curls. "Charlie." He whispers and lifts my chin to look at him. "Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to tell me. Maybe we can try to get something small for lunch. Only if you are up to going somewhere?" I look at him for a long time before answering. "Maybe we can get something delivered and we can just stay here for a bit?" He smiles brightly with my suggestion. "I like the sound of that."