Dangerous Desires

Chapter 21

I've always heard that your life flashes before your eyes as you're dying. All I remembered after passing out in the van was darkness. No feeling, no worries, no stress. Just the abyss that I was floating into, deeper and deeper. Then something flickered in front of me. I reached out to touch it and found every memory I had ever made with my family. It played like a slow motion film in front of me. I saw mom and dad when they were together and happy. I saw everything my brothers and I did with each other. I saw all the missions I've been on. I saw when I first met Josie and our friendship played out, and when I first met Lexi. Her beautiful face and smile, her blue eyes looking at me like I was the like I was the best thing to happen to her.

I reached for more, I reached for her. I remembered the warmth that she gave me. The happiness that I felt with her. The last words I promised her before I left. I needed to get back to her. I felt a tug on my body as if something was anchoring me. I was no longer floating. I kept seeing flashes of everything when the last night I remembered was there. I was watching it in third person. The knife slashed my thigh, then my leg throbbed in pain. It was jabbed into my abdomen, felt that as well. I dropped from the air in pain as everything went black once more.

I fell into a dreamless sleep. I heard my family around me. I felt the warmth on my hand that I was reaching for. I needed it so bad. It spread up one side of my body and I heard her beautiful voice, "Please come back to me, love." Fuck, how I wanted to. I wanted to hold her and kiss her. When I get out of this, I'm going to show her just how much I need her. I fell in and out of the dream world and the real world. I felt the warmth leave me and I needed it back. I chased it. My eyes shot open and I was in a dimly lit room. Pain shot through my leg and stomach as memories came flooding back. There was a tube in my mouth and I started to struggle with it. Dr. Lewis found me and helped me pull the tube out. By the time I could breathe again, multiple personnel were in my room.

They were asking me questions and checking my vitals. One handed me something for pain and I drank it down quickly, wincing at the pain in my throat. I tried to answer what I could with my rough voice but I was wanting only one thing. I saw someone push through the crowd and met those sky blue eyes I was searching for. She stood frozen as I told everyone to leave. When she finally made it to my side, she sat down gently but I didn't want her to be gentle right now. I pulled her into the kiss I've been wanting, if only to remind me this is real and I'm actually here with her. This was definitely not a dream.

I was out of it a whole day and didn't get discharged until the day after. Lexi stayed with me the entire time, even though I wasn't letting her leave. I filled everyone in on what happened at dinner. RJ was already putting together evidence to take Mercer down. Lexi would change my bandages and make sure I got the proper care I needed. The minute I could do more rigorous activity, I made sure to show Lexi just how much I appreciated her. We extended our leave due to a family emergency. The professors emailed our classwork to us and we would send it back in to be graded. It was the end of April before I was given a clean bill of health and released to go back to school.

We went back to campus and fell into our routine and continued through to our finals. Once they were finally over, graduation was next, but I wouldn't attend. Once I found out I passed all my tests, I requested my degree to be mailed. I was packing all of my things up and loading them into my car to take to my new apartment. I rented one in the same vicinity as the university. Lexi was moving in with me. We would stay here until she graduated, then move closer to home. She never wanted to return to her father and I wasn't letting her leave me anytime soon.

It was a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment. We made sure to keep the extra bedroom for when Josie decided she wanted to stay with us. I was unloading boxes when I got the message from RJ explaining the meeting with the Davenports. Now that I'm officially graduated, that meant it was my turn to hold up the contract. I would never go with them now. It's either break the contract or go to war. Either way sounded just fine with me.