TAINTED

Chapter 25

"Why Nashville? Why aren't you going back to California?" Blaine continued. "You need to finish your Senior year of college. And football. What about football?"

"College isn't for me. I'm heading to Nashville to take my songwriting and guitar playing seriously. I don't want to be a football star anymore. That's Dad's dream, not mine."

I couldn't say it aloud, but spending the summer with Ivy was the best thing to happen to me. Whether she knew or not, she had helped me find myself. She allowed me to discover a side of me that was locked away for too long. A side of me that made me love music again. She made me want to be better. Be my most authentic self. She ignited that.

"God, Rhys. This is huge news, but I completely understand. And, of course, I support your decision," Blaine nodded and stood up, putting his empty bowl into the sink. "You've always wanted music in your life. You're talented, just like Mom, and I've always admired your ability to follow your heart and not care about Dad's expectations. You have always been the risk taker," he paused. "Does Dad know you're not going back to college?"

I shook my head. "No. And I don't plan on letting him know. He'd threaten my trust fund and try to talk me out of abandoning football. I've already made up my mind."

I refused to glance over at Ivy, who I knew was watching me with a frown on her face. I could feel her resentment. I just stared at the wall across from me. I was starting to go numb. I was losing everything I ever let myself love.

"I'm real proud of you," Blaine said.

My chest tightened. I nodded and didn't respond. Instead, I swallowed my guilt and glanced over at Ivy. She looked fucking perfect with her long shiny blonde hair flowing down her backside and her doe-like green eyes watching me.

"I'm going to hit the shower," Blaine bent down and kissed Ivy on the forehead. "I'll get myself ready, babe. We can head out shortly."

The way he called her babe made my skin crawl. She said nothing. Blaine walked up the staircase and closed the bathroom door behind him. When the water turned on and started running through the pipes, Ivy stood before me.

"So that's it? You're leaving?" her voice broke the silence and the pounding in my head. "Where did you go last night? You look like shit, and you smell like a brewery."

My heart started pounding in my chest. I said nothing, her sad eyes, and perfectly smooth, blonde hair instantly destroying me. It was too complicated even to look at her, never mind talk to her.

"Rhys?" Stubbornly, I grabbed a mug and began pouring some coffee, ignoring her sweet voice and how amazing she smelled. "Are you going to answer me?"

I took a sip from my mug, still ignoring her. Really mature. Rhys.

"What? Are you . . . mad at me?" she asked.

Breaking my vow of silence, I glared over at her. "Nope."

Her frown deepened while she spoke. "I never meant for things to turn out this way. You made it clear you didn't want me to create expectations of us in my head. I promise I'm not going to tell Blaine anything. He came back. You are leaving. I need to know you are okay."

"Well, I'm not. . . how could I be?" I knew my tone was harsh, but I couldn't help it. "And if you must know, I had a gig last night at McDougall's Pub and stayed at the bunkhouse. I didn't want to come back here and see you together...or worse, hear you together."

Ivy looked like she was on the verge of tears, and I was doing everything I could not to pull her into my arms and beg her to leave Blaine behind and come with me.

"I don't know what you want from me," she sniffled. "You're leaving for Nashville. You made it clear I couldn't come with you. And Blaine came back. e. He dropped everything and came back to be with me. What was I supposed to do?" she said, voice strained.

Just hearing her say it out loud made me ache inside. We both knew where this conversation was headed. Blaine was a solid foundation. It was a reckless journey into the unknown. I couldn't promise her a beautiful life full of stability in Moose Creek. I couldn't promise her I'd be a good father one day or settle down and stop chasing my dreams. Blaine could promise her a wonderful life full of normal, and good, and security. He'd always given up everything to be with her, including free European tuition. I was about to leave her for a boyhood dream of writing music in Nashville. I was about to be a college drop-out and failed football star, and once I was gone from Moose Creek, I was as good as dead to my father. I would have nothing. No trust fund. No emotional support. Nothing. Blaine would have everything. Including the woman I loved. If Ivy came with me, I was scared she would regret choosing my reckless lifestyle, and I'd end up hurting her in the long run. I couldn't have that. She deserved a guy like Blaine.

"You're right. You should stay with him. He loves you." I said, and without realizing it, I cradled my hand on the side of her face. Her skin was warm beneath my palm, and my fingers ached to move, to smooth up and pull down on her bottom lip, kiss her once again.

"Did these past few days mean nothing to you?" she whispered in an unsure voice. Her hands touched my chest. "Was it all just out of convenience?"

Fuck. Letting her think she meant nothing to me pained me so much. But I had to let her go.

"Ivy, you said it yourself...he came back..." I winced and pulled away, taking a step back.

Her hands fell to her sides. "So, everything you said to me about how you felt was a lie?" she whispered.

"None of it matters anymore, Ivy. I'm leaving. He's staying. Forget we ever happened." There was some ice in my voice, and she frowned at hearing it.

"Fine." Her tone was harsh as well. "Leave, Rhys. It's what you do best."

A fiery rage burned in my chest. She wasn't understanding, and I needed to make her understand, even if it killed me. "Stop making this harder than it already is. Jesus, Ivy, it was just sex. Get over it." Her bottom lip quivered, and my heart shattered inside my chest. I hated lying to her, but I had to give her some closure; even if it hurt her, it was what was best. I stopped and took a calming breath. "You need to stay with him . . ." I took another deep breath. "I'm trying to do the right thing. You could try to do the same."

Ivy broke into tears, and it was taking everything I had not to take back everything I had just said. I never wanted to make her cry. Seeing her so upset because of me was the worst feeling in the world. I loved her so fiercely it hurt. We both knew Blaine was the safe choice. I could see it in her eyes. I was doing her a favour. I used all the willpower I had left not to pull her into my arms.

The sound of Blaine turning off the shower had Ivy wiping away her tears with the back of her hand.

The bathroom door opened, and Blaine shouted from upstairs, "Rhys. It's decided. You can't leave until I throw you an epic going away party."

"No need – "I shouted, but he cut me off.

"Yeah, I am!" he shouted back. His footsteps darted across the hall and over to his bedroom. "My big brother deserves a proper farewell." His excitement didn't go unnoticed. When Blaine decided, there was no point in arguing with him. This party was going to happen. Finally, his bedroom door clicked behind him.

Fuck. This was a fucking disaster.

My defeated eyes met Ivy's anxious ones.

"I can talk him out of it – "she started, but I cut her off.

"No. Don't." I warned her. "What's done is done."

The last thing I wanted was to make Blaine suspicious. I finally ran my thumb down her cheek before walking out the door. I had no idea where I was headed; I just needed to go somewhere other than anywhere near Ivy and Blaine. My heart ached as I left. Our summer together had been...beyond words. My heart was more torn than ever. What I'd done to Blaine was unforgivable. I had no idea how I would ever be able to move on without her, but I didn't have a choice.