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Seasonal Depression ~ Jungwon🥀🌸

The next day, was gloomy once again, however, this didn't stop the boys from trying to get the younger to go outside once again. "Well, if I'm being honest, I would love to go do something like join the volleyball team or find something to do other than mope around here, but every time I do try it just goes downhill," Jungwon told the two as they had their conversation. The three began talking about sports and other things along those lines in an attempt to cheer Jungwon up. It wasn't long before they had to leave once more to go to classes.

The next day, Jungwon was on his couch, curled up in a blanket, the only thing that could be seen of him was his hair. Jungwon went back and forth, checking the time and the door. It was 20 minutes past when the duo usually came by, and Jungwon was beginning to get nervous. "Did they decide to stop? Am I that bad?" Jungwon thought, beginning to feel scared. After another 30 minutes, Jungwon had given up and slowly began to retreat to his room to start on one of his many assignments to catch up on. Just as he entered the hallway, he heard knocks on the door, he quickly rushed to the door, nearly tripping. Opening the door, was the two boys, with three extra bags than usual. 

Jungwon let them in and sighed in relief. "Sorry it took us longer, we thought it would be a good idea to stop by a Subway and bring it by instead of instant food," Jay said, chuckling at the end of his sentence. "Oh! Thank you guys, do you want me to pay you back?" Jungwon asked thinking about how much he's heard people complaining about the increasing price of the restaurant. "No, this was on us, we decided on this," Sunghoon said sitting his stuff down. The three ate in peace and talked a lot as they did so. Jungwon laughed and smiled at a joke that Sunghoon had made and stopped when he heard the room was silent. The duo smiled and looked at the younger with smiles. "What's wrong?" Jungwon asked looking at the two silent men next to him. "We haven't seen you smile since Halloween," Jay said with a smile. Jungwon hadn't realized how long since he had been this happy until the two had begun mentioning things like that. "Oh, I hadn't realized that," Jungwon whispered, avoiding eye contact.

After the two left, Jungwon began thinking, usually, he tried to avoid falling too deep into his thoughts. Jungwon stopped where he was in the hallway and looked at the bathroom, walking in he looked at the mirror, it didn't feel right, to see himself, he hadn't looked bad, but his brain wouldn't let him feel fine about it. Jungwon's breathing began to pick up as his reflection almost looked like it was distorting, it didn't look like him, there was so much blood, and the distorted reflection had shattered glass lodged into its skin in many different places. Jungwon began to panic, his eyes felt watery as his hands began to shake violently, and swiftly, Jungwon punched the mirror, shards flying everywhere. 

Jungwon looked in front of him, there was shattered glass all over the floor, a few cuts on his arm, and his poor right hand looked horrible, he slowly backed up, turning his gaze to his hands. He let out sobs as he slowly sank to the floor, holding his knees to his chest, he cried. 

The next day, when Jay and Sunghoon knocked on the door, there was no response, just silence. "Jungwon! Are you there?" Jay asked aloud, still knocking. Sunghoon looked down at the door mat below their feet, "Move," Sunghoon said shooing his feet off the mat. Sunghoon lifted the at and smiled, "Spare key," Sunghoon said holding up the small piece of metal. Jay quickly unlocked the door and the two entered. Jay looked around the dorm, but nothing. "Ew," Sunghoon said scrunching up his nose. "It smells like blood in here," Sunghoon said, his and Jay's concern rising. 

They quickly began to search around the dorm, finding Jungwon on the floor of the bathroom, asleep, tear-stained, and bloodied. Jay gasped before he and Sunghoon began carrying the boy to the other room and patched his hand up. Jungwon woke up not long after, tired and dizzy. Jungwon lifted his head from the couch after hearing what sounded like glass. Jungwon let his head fall on the back of the couch as he opened his eyes to see Sunghoon dumping glass into the trashcan. "Jungwon! You're awake!" Jay said as Jungwon slowly turned his head to the other male on the couch. Jungwon sat there in silence, remembering what had happened. 

After about 5 minutes straight of silence. Jungwon looked at his hand, now completely bandaged and cleaned. "Jungwon, what happened?" Jay asked, making Jungwon look up at the two males beside him. Jungwon tried to speak but was interrupted by tears. The two beside him tried their best to comfort the younger until he was ready to talk. Eventually, Jungwon had stopped crying and made his attempt to tell the two what happened. The duo shared eye contact after the explanation, and they ended up staying most of their time at Jungwon's dorm and didn't leave until about 9:30 pm, "Don't forget about tomorrow, bye Jungwon," Jay said as they left the dorm. 

The next day arrived quickly, Jungwon was sitting on his couch, waiting for Sunghoon and Jay to stop by once more, however, this time he was fully dressed in winter clothes. Soft knocks could be heard as Jungwon stood up and walked to the door. He was greeted by the two standing there, empty-handed. "You ready Jungwon?" Sunghoon asked as the younger silently nodded. Jungwon had finally left his dorm for the first time in a long while. Unlike the weather of the previous week and days before, it was sunny outside with a lot of snow. 

Jungwon smiled at the weather as the three began walking off campus, and to one of the different destinations of that day. The walk was quiet but nice, and before any of them knew it, they were at the first destination, a bridge that overlooked the Han River. The three stopped about halfway through the bridge and leaned on the railing. "It's been a while, huh?" Jay said with a sad smile. "Three years ago today," Sunghoon said looking at the water. "I miss him so much," Jungwon said, taking in the height of the bridge. "We all do, Jungwonnie," Jay said as the cold winter air blew. "We all miss Heeseung Hyung," Sunghoon said turning his head to Jungwon. The trio stood there for some more time, thinking back to the day of the event. "I still have the news clippings when they reported his death," Jungwon whispered out loud to the other two. 

It wasn't long after that they decided to make their way to the next destination. Just a little way of the bridge, was the next place, a flower shop. The three stopped and all picked up their choice of flowers and made their way to a graveyard. The three entered the dark place quietly, Jungwon straying off from the other two. Jungwon stopped at a small, well-kept grave, "Here lies, Yang Seong-Jin, a father of two, passed on December 23rd, 2019 from a car crash," the grave read. Jungwon knelt and placed a flower right in front of the grave. "I miss you dad, I hope you're happy up there," Jungwon whispered, he began thinking back to that day when some drunk driver had hit the car whilst he drove his dad back to the house. 

Jungwon stood up and left to where the other two were, and placed the daisies he had in his hand beside Jay and Sunghoons on the grave. They all said their goodbyes to Heeseung's grave before leaving, the three made their way to Jay and Sunghoon's dorm. The walk was quiet, but Jungwon felt relieved to of finally gotten out of his dorm and to see the graves of his past loved ones whom he missed dearly. It wasn't long before they were back on campus and at the two's dorm. "Ok so there is a little bit of a surprise we have so close your eyes," Jay said before opening the door and letting the two in. "Ok open your eyes," Jay said as Jungwon slowly opened his eyes. Jungwon's eyes widened as he saw the rest of their friend group, Sunoo, Jake, and Ni-ki, "Christmas party!" Ni-ki said appearing from behind the couch. 

Jungwon nearly cried, however, the night was nice, and everyone spent time together, some very concerned over Jungwon's hand. Jungwon felt happy, "Maybe next year I'll be better than this time," Jungwon thought as he headed to continue hanging out with his friends.

TEE HEE I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS AND TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO MADE A REQUEST I AM SO SORRY I DID THIS FIRST I JUST KIND OF HAD TO IDEA WHILE LISTENING TO MY 2020 WRAP AND I WAS LIKE OMG I HAVE TO DO THIS. To all who read this, I hope you like it because I do :)) I hope you have a great day/night!

~Author

2435 words