Suffering Part 2

Rather Difficult

"Do you still want to work on us? Without running away?" he inquired from across the table. Neither of them had even touched their food yet.

 "I will do my best not to run away. I need space to exist to gather my thoughts sometimes. Whether that is a walk or just sitting in silence to think," she admitted to him. "I will do my best to give you that," he responded softly. 

"I haven't taken my birth control in days. I need to brew some potions today," she admitted as the realization hit her. 

Severus just cocked his head to the side in annoyance at the information she had just provided. "I do wonder where your head is sometimes," he remarked. 

"I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir. Because I am not myself, you see," she responded with a quote from Alice in Wonderland. 

"You have to see a doctor or something," he admitted, turning the conversation to a much more serious one. Y/N just let out a long "Ugh" sound and slipped down in her chair staring at the ceiling. "That went as expected," he remarked unaffected by her displeasure. 

"I will agree to go to a therapist or something. I don't want to hear the word hospital again. My mother would hold that over my head in order to get me to behave in a way that pleased her. It was never about helping me, it was only about her control. I cannot hear that again," she remarked, still looking at the ceiling.

 "I didn't know that. I will try to be respectful of your feelings towards that, unless I cannot," he replied softly. Tears were flowing from each of her eyes as she stared at the ceiling.

 "I'm sorry. It's just.. I'm not over everything with her," she replied softly.

 "I wish you would stop apologizing for things like that. You are allowed to process your feelings in your own time," he offered. Y/N sat up wiping her tears from her face, exhaling deeply. 

"I fucking hate how much I cry. It's disgusting," she remarked. "You have to stop being so hard on yourself. It doesn't help anything," Severus replied softly.

 "Does Lucius know about, when I was in the village, all of that.." she asked softly. 

"I told him last night after he realized you were bleeding. He was worried about you," Severus remarked as they started eating breakfast finally.

 "Lucius Malfoy, worried about me. I could not picture it," she remarked with a chuckle. Severus smirked, "He isn't quite the contemptuous prick everyone believes him to be. It's a mask, just like with Draco." 

"And yourself," she remarked as she tried to control the smirk forming across her face. "And myself, Princess," he replied with a chuckle. After breakfast the two finished getting ready for the day. "Aren't you going to lay my clothes out for me?" she asked, still standing in her pajamas. "I cannot predict what will set you off, Princess. I will find you something," he responded as he walked into the closet.

"We need to have a long discussion about what kind of control I can handle and what I cannot. I'm sure we can meet in a place that benefits both of us. For instance, in bed, I'll give you 100%," she responded as she laid back on the bed waiting for her clothes. "As if you have a choice," he chuckled from the closet. 

Severus brought out her outfit for the day, undergarments and his favorite perfume. "Thank you, Daddy," she remarked as he handed it to her.

 "Anything for you, Princess," he responded, looking down at her body. "I can't. It was too much. I haven't recovered," she protested with a laugh. "At lunch perhaps," he remarked as he went towards the door of their chambers. "Perhaps," she replied in her best Severus voice.