Shattered Dreams

SIXTY-ONE.

"Yeah, come then," I sigh, not wanting them to at all. "Just hurry up because I don't want to be late."

"Shotgun." Willem announces and I groan, not in the mood to play today, but I see the effort he made to try and lift up my spirits, even though he is still pissed at me.

I make my way to the backseat, not caring about not being in the front as my parents car has a lot of space in the back, and I connect my phone to the bluetooth first, putting on my calming playlist in an attempt to reduce the amount of anxiety flowing through me.

I stare out the window, thinking to myself the whole drive and everyone else stays silent as well, it's like they know that if they say a word I will break down.

Going to the doctors when you have something wrong with you that cannot be explained is hard.

It's like everything you love most in your house is on fire, and you're standing there with the fire department trying to figure out the root of where it came from. I can't just tell them it comes from everywhere because then they can never find out how to put it out. So instead, I have to watch everything burn as they tell me nothing can be done to help me and the place I call home.

And by the time the appointment is done, my whole body will be engulfed in flames as the pain and exhaustion consumes me.

We walk into the building, which is nothing fancy and looks sketchy more than anything, and I feel a weird sense of calm.

At this point, I feel as though I have truly given up with finding answers so If I go into this appointment expecting nothing then I won't be disappointed when I come out with zero answers.

I take a seat in the waiting room with Willem as my parents check me in with the receptionist and I feel my phone vibrate.

C: Good luck today, I'm thinking about you.

I smile when I read it because I haven't heard from him in a while and I'm shocked he even remembered that I was even coming here today. I heart reacted to the message because I don't want Willem to somehow see that I'm still talking to Corey and I also don't know what to say to him. I haven't spoken to Corey since he came round on new years and I've been missing him.

I don't want to be the first to reach out to him because I don't even know if he still wants to be with me due to Willem finding out. I would understand if he didn't because if Archie was uncomfortable with someone I was with then I would respect what my best friend thinks and put him first, much like Corey is doing with Willem.

We were selfish for too long and this is where it needs to end and we both know that so there is nothing left to say to him.

Willem shifts next to me and I look towards him and notice that he is staring at my phone, obviously having seen the message from Corey. I sigh, putting my phone back into my pocket as I want to pretend I ever got that message.

"It's nice he remembered." Willem comments, sounding displeased.

"You should talk to him." I tell him and he laughs slightly.

"I don't think I want to." He returns in a harsh tone.

"He's your best friend," I remind him and he makes a face of disgust. "You forgave me."

"I forgave you because you're my sister."

I sigh, wanting nothing more than for Willem and Corey to be friends again as I don't want this to be another thing that I have managed to ruin somehow.

"I just don't want you to be mad at him forever." I speak quietly, as in a reception really isn't the place to be having this sort of conversation.

"Stop interfering, Nadia," He snaps at me, using my full name instead of the nickname he gives me so that is my sign to shut up. "Look, I'm sorry I just am stressed about the whole situation with you two."