Almost Is Never Enough

1st and last

Disclaimer: Not for a professional purpose so you may encounter grammatical mistakes/errors. 

Listen to Moira De la Torre song "PAUBAYA" or "Migraine" by Moonstar 88 or whatever music you find for a broken heart. No label Relationship. " Pero Atik Ra" for bisaya haha.

https://youtu.be/9HByV-WaGQM?si=KdASHrYylet7u--u

It was the 2nd of December when I attended a party at school. It was the last day of our foundation, so everyone needed to participate. Entering the gymnasium seemed nice at first, I was kind of thrilled cause everybody wore their cool outfits since the party was themed "Glow in the Dark." That's why most students wore neon fits. The weather may have seemed bad, but other than that, everything was shining and colorful, from the gymnasium decorations up to the contestants in the pageant and the pretty faces of the Xavier's Knights. Everything was fine, except for me remembering that I would probably see the face of someone whom I don't want to see with anybody else, but I still wanted to see him that night. I was just thinking that this night would end beautifully, even though ours would never be.

But then I didn't know that it would be a traumatic night for me.

The camera flashed, so I turned to the left side of the venue. Then I saw him wearing his favorite jacket with a camera in his hand. He was taking pictures of students right there. I didn't look at him, never! He didn't look at me either. I just stare at the students who smile at the camera, then I look away, gulping. I act too interesting in the question-and-answer portion, wanting him to believe that I did not see him. Though that's my favorite part of the pageant, I swear my mind was occupied with so many questions for him that I can't really focus on the contestants answers because the only answer I want to hear is from him. I saw in my peripheral vision that he had just left, so I took a deep breath and rested my head on the shoulder of my friend Eufemarie. My heart cries. I couldn't breathe properly. I closed my eyes, then calmed my mind for a bit.

Why would someone come into your life and then ruin your peace?

Why would they act so in love with you today, then the next day you find out that there is someone new?

Why would they leave confusion to you?

The party started, and I couldn't help but sing along with the music cause it really helped. My friends Eufemarie and Leona are both weird introverts, so they don't want to dance in the crowd, so we're just singing there in our chairs, and then I take videos of us. It hurts so bad that I saw him with another girl. The girl has curly brownish hair. She wore a yellow t-shirt, and I didn't see her face because, dang, I can't see faces from afar. I feel like a hundred knives have stabbed me in the chest. I almost beg my friends to be with me in the crowd so I can dance, because that's the only way I can cope with the pain at that moment. And the music, my gosh, I bet it was for me!

"Sigenabaaa sayaw na ta ba muhilak lagi ko diri rooon." HAHAHAHAHAH I said to them, but they didn't let me.

The fact that I saw him with the girl last night broke me. He drove her home, then I heard the boys say to him, "lahi nasab na?" haha ouchie. And then the moment he's back in the gymnasium, he already has his jacket again. (I thought that time was still vivid, but it hurts.) I keep texting him, but he does not respond.

Going back to the party, I don't want to look sadgirl so I texted my friendd Mayie, who knows everything, to get me so we can dance on the bench. Good thing she came to me immediately. She rants about the boy, but I told her to stop since nothing will happen even if we talk sh*t about him. Perhaps it's just me who believes that there's something between us.

But maaan, he just picked me up from home to the hospital and drove me home the other day, even though their house is very far away. Funny right? What about the beach date? The lights date? The diversion date? The jabee and pizza date? The one call away, Hatud Sundo? He may be just a gentleman, haha. But what about those "can I hug you? "The selfie? The picture we took together? The way our eyes meet? The way he cares? The act of service? The willingness and initiative to plan a date?

Maybe it's not a date. He's just bored, either.

Wait, let me fix my posture. Haha, *yawning* *cry*

Mayie and I went to the bench and danced there like idiots. We're having fun while chitchatting about how sucky he is and his actions. Meanwhile, we felt tired, so we sat down and chitchatted again. I saw many students in the crowd dancing, singing, and having fun while the DJ was on fire. I and Mayie decided to look for my two friends because we planned to have some light drinks to help me calm down. We've been searching for them, and when we were about to walk down the stairs, the boy I talked about was walking upstair, so our eyes met, but it was just a second, and I didn't look at him anymore. Then I continued searching for the two. His eyes never lie. It's not me anymore. I exhale largely, and then we go out. Outside, we saw the two eating. They told me about the boy again and stuff before we had a picture, then decided to go. But before we left, I saw him taking pictures of Idk and Idc.

I'm talking like Shiii in the highway, singing loudly and jumping, cursing, shouting, and letting my feelings go out. Guess what? My friends? They are just laughing at me and taking videos of me, haha. I'm not yet drunk, but they tell me I look like drunk, na daw.Speaking of the boy, they passed by, and then Leona saw them, so she shouted "hoooy," then the other friends said "cheater," but not so loudly. I feel so embarrassed. I told them not to do that again.

After getting money from my friends, BH, Mayie, and I go to 711 to buy drinks and food while the three are left on rotonda. We bought girly drinks. It was raining, and my three friends were not there anymore. We tried to search for them, but we couldn't, so we just chatted with them. It's raining cats and dogs, so we stop in the nearest place where we can wait until the rain stops, but it's getting worse. We took videos and pictures there before a young man came, and I was talking stuff about just like this, narrating what happened at that moment. And I didn't know something would happen.

An earthquake shocked us like it was so kusog, plus the rain was like rag gi bubo. It was still clear to me what happened. I felt so nervous until now. We cover our heads and immediately go to a safe place. While we're running, we almost tumbaa, and I hear shouts from anywhere. It was traumatic. I can't definitely think of what to do. Four students are hugging beside us while crying loudly, praying, rebuking, and sobbing. I was rebuking the whole time, then afterwards crying badly. My mom and papa weren't around. It was the first time that thing happened, and I was not with my parents or family members. I cried, Mama and Papa, then prayed that God would protect us. I thought God would arrive. I'm not yet ready. I must pray to God the whole day to let him forgive my sins. I thought we were going to die that night.

It's really a traumatic moment. I won't forget it. Never. That night was too much.

I cried to Eufemarie, and then she hugged me.

I had so many realizations that night. I cried nonstop when I got home.

What if I died there?

That night, I was completely broke by the boy who let me experience my first time dating in the real world. And it's a very beautiful scenery. I'll look back on it soon, but for now, it's the most painful experience in love. But I always treasure that as an opportunity to learn something from it. And honestly, I'm happy with that moment with him). But most importantly, that night I realized how lucky I am with my friends. They are truly my support system. My forever love. And the phenomena that happened yesterday night just remind me to remember God, who is our shelter. Our comfort. And let us not forget him; instead, pray to him, give thanks, and honor Him. Let us pray for forgiveness because we don't know when He will arrive. Let us give our worship, praise, and adoration for him, not into worldly things. This is truly a reminder for us that God is our almighty, powerful God.

Say to your family and friends that you love them so much before it's too late.

Additionally, I may be broke right now, but I think the thing that I would never do is lose myself for someone or somebody. I don't like begging and chasing. I let things be. If it's done. Then it's done. even though it never started. ...a