Shifting Gears || cl16/ln4

Gear Thirteen

Charles' POV

Me and Arthur were sitting on the lounges in the club waiting for the others, since Daniel had insisted that I should come today after the race. I had told him I had personal issues to take care of, and that's why I couldn't continue staying at the mansion. Luckily, he didn't ask too many questions, and I made my way to the hotel Arthur was staying in.

These past few days were really rough for me. I had returned to my usual ways, seeking comfort in the vibrant chaos of nightclubs, drowning my thoughts in the fleeting connections with different women. It was my way of distraction, an attempt to escape the weight of personal struggles that had been haunting me. I never cared about my reputation, but after my night outs, I would receive several calls from my PR manager, each voicemail more disapproving than the last. And yet, I didn't care. I never did.

The relentless pursuit of adrenaline-fueled nights was my attempt to silence the inner chaos, to escape the echoes of recent events that lingered like shadows.

Arthur had been the one constant presence during these stressed days. His supportive nature was a balm to my wounded soul. As we sat in the club, I couldn't help but appreciate the quiet company we shared. The pulsating music and dim lights acted as a temporary escape from the chaos of my own thoughts.

As we waited for everyone, the realization of seeing her again weighed on my mind. The memory of the panic attack I had experienced yesterday resurfaced, a vulnerability I rarely allowed others to witness. In the midst of my struggle, she had been there, a calming presence that inexplicably made me feel better. It was a foreign sensation, unfamiliar and unsettling.

Normally, I dealt with my panic attacks alone, navigating the storm within the confines of my own thoughts. Yet, her intervention had been different. Her calming voice, the assurance in her eyes, they reached a part of me I rarely acknowledged. It was as if she knew how to handle panic attacks. As if she had a familiarity with the demons I battled.

The idea of letting anyone in, especially someone who seemed to unravel the complications of my emotions, was discomforting. Her presence stirred emotions I couldn't easily categorize, a complexity that clashed with my need for control.

I had always prided myself on maintaining a cold exterior, keeping my vulnerabilities hidden from the world. Yet, her ability to effortlessly soothe the turbulence within me posed a challenge to the walls I had built. It was a conflict within myself, an internal struggle against the unfamiliar territory of letting someone in.

The unease I felt wasn't about her; it was about the unsettling revelation that there were sides of myself I hadn't fully understood. The realization that she could navigate the maze of my emotions with such ease left me conflicted. Control had always been my ally, and the unpredictability of these newfound emotions left me grappling with an internal unease.

Seeing her again meant confronting the unfamiliar emotions she had stirred within me. The conflict within myself lingered, a silent struggle that played out against the backdrop of anticipation and the impending encounter.

———

After a while, everyone had arrived, and their surprised expressions were evident, particularly hers. Her eyes widened slightly at the sight of me and Arthur. As Daniel expressed gratitude for my unexpected presence, I realized I had forgotten to mention that I would be bringing Arthur along. "I hope you don't mind that I brought Arthur with me," I mentioned belatedly. Daniel shook his head, smiling, "Of course not, we all love Leclerc Junior." His words elicited laughter from the group. Despite my reserved demeanor, I secretly cherished the moments of being among friends. However, my focus shifted as mine and Willow's gaze locked several times. She settled beside Arthur and Lando, their sudden familiarity raising questions in my mind.