Jax angst (The Amazing Digital Circus)

Chapter 13

That's when I heard the door open

Mike entered, he was stumbling around, clearly drunk

"When did I say you can eat, you know you can only eat if I allow you" he said, his voice slowly crescendoing (woah music term😰😰)

"Candy too? What did I say about gaining weight?" He said, not quite yelling, almost in a snippy way, which honestly hurt more then it would've if he yelled

Maybe he does have a point

"GET OUT OF MY SIGHT" he yelled, clearly fed up with my existence

But as I tend to do when I'm yelled at, I froze

I didn't even have time to try and unfreeze myself before Mike picked me up and threw me down the hallway (drunken rage or my guy being a twig? Probably a mix of both😰)

I immediately felt the impact, my leg hit the floor weirdly and it was already sending sharp pains, my head hurt and my entire body felt hot, I couldn't tell if it was from anger or embarrassment

I decided to look at my injured leg, I don't think it's supposed to look like that. It's most definetly going the incorrect direction

It's alright calm down jax, it's nothing that bad, just don't look at it, just... don't l-look at... it

I didn't follow my own advice and instead stated into it directly

It's disgusting I feel like throwing up. Or passing out? Maybe both? No just the passing out, I feel really lightheaded

Will Mike take me to the hospital? Is my leg just stuck like this? How am I meant to fix it?

"I.... Really need to... calm down" I said, basically gasping for air between each word, whilst the corner of my vision slowly darkened

The darkness from the corner of my vision swiftly spread across both eyes and before I knew it, I had passed out

TiMe SkIp

I opened my eyes.

My leg no longer hurt, actually nothing did. I felt normal

But wait... this isn't the circus, shouldn't I be in the circus? I went to sleep, I should wake up in the circus

Wait, what if I'm stuck here? No that's crazy talk, there's no way I'm stuck here, I'll just have to fall asleep, it'll be fine

If I do wake up, maybe I don't come back here? I haven't tried to not come back here at all, I just sleep and end up here, is there anyway to avoid it? And I forever cursed to spend my sleeping moments here and my waking moments there?

I guess I just won't sleep anymore, that seems like the only viable solution

I was intrupted from my thoughts by some loud clanging sounds outside my door.

I probably shouldn't leave if Mike is out there then, I don't want another run in with him today, especially since that would be dealing with him twice and no break

Guess my thinking didn't amount to anything because pretty soon Mike burst into my room

"Fucking worthless.. c-clean your room... fag" he said, slurring over his words a lot

"O-ok sir" I replied, I tried to not stutter but ultimately failed

"What did I say about stuttering?! ITS ANNOYING" he started yelling

"THIS IS WHY YOUR MOTHER LEFT, BECAUSE YOUR A STUTTERING FAGGOT DISAPPOINTMENT OF A SON" he yelled, apparently he doesn't slur his words when he yells (that escalated fast😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫)

"Maybe you'd be better off dead, go slit your wrists or something, I don't care" he said before leaving my room, I heard the main entrance door close soon after, I'm assuming he left

'Maybe he's right? I mean if my own mom left me, I must've been terrible, maybe Mike is the forgiving one for staying with me?' I thought to myself

'No that cant be true, there's no way my mom is worse then him'

'Then again there's always the possibility' I reasoned with myself against my reasoning

'God why can't I decide on anything' I responded to my reasoning against my reasoning

'Maybe... maybe I am better off dead?'

'I mean, no one at the circus likes me, they wouldn't care, Mike clearly hates me, he wants me to, maybe i should listen to him, do something right in my life for once'?

I hadn't even noticed I started walking towards the bathroom

I hadn't even noticed my hand grabbing a razor

I hadn't even noticed me holding it above my arm

I hadn't noticed me lower it

And I finally noticed it when I had started dragging the blade across my skin

Holy fuck, I finally watched death note and the ending hit me like a god damn train, I needed days to recover from that. ANYWAYS thanks for 7k reads guys!!!! It means a lot people enjoy my story, next chapter should be out eventually :3 and the oneshot progress is slow, but it will happen eventually I promise