DERPY KIND! Gravity falls (reader insert)

Headhunters

Stan: I like your gumption, kid!
Mabel: I don't know what that word means, but thank you!
Dipper is drinking a soda while handing you one and walks towards Mabel.
Mabel: Dipper!
Dipper: (Starts choking on soda)
Mabel: What do you think of my wax figure idea? (Shows Dipper a drawing that she sketched in her sketch-book) She's part fairy princess, and part horse fairy princess!

Dipper: M..maybe you should carve something from real life.
Mabel: (Shows Dipper another sketch that she created) Like a waffle, with big arms!
Dipper:  Y-okay... Or, you know, something else. Like- like someone in your family. Or even y/n!
(You were just blinking mindlessly)

And then stan enters the scene getting the attention off of you.

Stan: Kids, have you seen my pants? (Poses on a briefcase)
Mabel: (Turns around, her eyes become big) Oh, muse. You work in mysterious ways.
Stan: Why's your sister talking to the ceiling?

✨Cue to a montage of Mabel busily working on Wax Stan.✨

Mabel: (Moves back to admire her work) I think... it needs more glitter.
Soos: Agreed. (Hands Mabel a bucket of glitter)
Mabel: Tosses the entire bucket onto the statue)

Stan: Walks in with his pants on but not his shoes) I found my pants but now I'm missing my-- (Notices Wax Stan) Ahhh! (Falls over)
You tried to catch him only to have Mabel grab you quickly to her side before Stan could squash you with his body

Mabel: What do you think?
Stan: I think... the Wax Museum's back in business!
✨Cut to Soos leading people to see the grand opening of the Wax Museum.✨

Dipper is working in the stand with Wendy.
Dipper: I can't believe this many people showed up.
Wendy: I know, right? Your uncle probably bribed them or something.
Dipper: He bribed me. (Holds up dollar)
Wendy: (Holds up a dollar. They both laugh.)
You walk up holding 10 dollars as you innocently flaunt it to them making their jaws drop

Stan: (Clears throat over the microphone) You all know me, folks! Town darling, "Mr. Mystery." Please, ladies, control yourselves!

three women in the audience staring blankly ahead, flies swarming around them.
Stan: As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world, has never known. But enough about me. Behold... me! (Uncovers Wax Stan)

Soos: (Makes a fanfare sound on his keyboard, then makes a "Ye-ah! Ye-ye-ye-ye-ye-ah!" sound)
Two people in the audience politely clap and someone coughs.
Stan: And now a word from our own Mabelangelo!

Mabel: It's Mabel. (Takes microphone) Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands! (Throws up her arms) It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids!
Audience:Ugh! Ewwww!
Mabel: (Chuckles) Yeah. I will now take questions! (Points to McGucket) You there!

Old Man McGucket : Old Man McGucket, local kook. Are the wax figures alive? And follow-up question, can I survive the wax-man uprising?
Mabel: Um...Yes! Next question! (Points to Toby Determined)
Toby Determined: (Holding a turkey baster as if it is a microphone) Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?

Stan: Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby.
Toby : It certainly is--
Stan: Next question. (Points to  the female reporter of the name of Shandra Jimenez)
Shandra Jimenez: Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter. Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Shows flyer Is this true?

Audience members: That's what I heard! ... Come on! ... What a rip-off! ... Pizza? ... I want my pizza!..
Stan: That was a typo. Good night, everyone! (Uses a smoke bomb to escape, taking the admission fee with him)
Audience: (Leaving furiously)
Pizza Guy: (Sadly walks off)