Touch Me Not (Manwhore Series #1)

Chapter Nineteen

"Why are you on there?" she countered.

"My brother introduced me to it. I was visiting him and saw it up on his laptop. Asked him what it was, and when he explained it, I was a goner. Perfect game for me."

"It's about more than just sex," she told him. And it was. It wasn't why she was there, not really. She loved the friends she'd made, and her business thrived because she treated her customers like family and helped them out when they needed helping. Lots of other gem merchants didn't do credit. She did.

"Yes, Lily, it is," Nikoli agreed. "Now, tell me how you found it."

He made it a question, and she smiled. He always knew when to switch tactics on her. She was well aware of when he did it, but she didn't mind. She'd rather answer questions than commands any day of the week.

"Well, Mike was the first one to find it. I never asked how he found it, mind you. He got Adam into playing it, and they both decided it might be good for me."

"Good for you?"

Lily took another bite of her fish while she thought about the best way to answer him. It all had to do with her fears and those two trying to find ways of helping her. She loved them for it, and in truth, she'd discovered a place where she could be herself without fear of anyone or her own fears taking over. She felt safe there. As safe as she felt with Nikoli.

"Mike and Adam thought it would help me," she said finally. "Adam thought if I could get used to being intimate with someone online in a virtual setting where I couldn't get scared, it might help me be able to deal with my fears in the real world. I was so embarrassed." She laughed, remembering that conversation. "Virtual sex wasn't something I wanted to discuss with him." She shook her head, grinning.

"Did it help at all?" Nikoli asked curiously.

She thought for a minute before answering. "Yeah, it did. Not with the physical aspect of my phobia, but with my own bashfulness and self-esteem. It was a place where I could be myself, be the person I hide from everyone else. No one cares in there how messed up I am in the real world. They only care about the little pixel person in front of them. It helped me learn to be myself in the real world."

Lily's honesty always shocked him. It was something he valued, though. Most women, while not dishonest, tended to stretch or avoid the truth. At least in his experience. It was one of the reasons he never bothered to get to know many of them.

"So, did you ever have virtual sex?" he asked, the devil in him wanting to make her blush.

"That's really none of your business." She dropped her eyes and picked at her food, a blush creeping up her neck.

"Come on, Milaya," he wheedled. "You can tell me. It is VSL, after all." He watched her duck her head, and he smiled in response. She was nervous. The one thing she didn't need to be with him.

"Really, Mr. Kincaid, it's none of your business."

"Oh, but I beg to differ, Miss Holmes," he said, his voice soft. "You are my business, and now that I know you're on VSL, you'll be my business there too."

"Well, no, I don't think so." She finally looked up, and his breath caught at the mischief in her blue eyes. They were shining with laughter. "I may already be someone else's business on there."

Anger and jealousy swelled up within him. The thought of her being with anyone else, even some virtual boyfriend she'd never meet, had him seeing red. She was his. In the real world or in the virtual world.

"Do you have a boyfriend on there, Milaya?" His voice came out whisper soft, but the steel in it was impossible to mistake, and Lily's eyes flared in response. When she didn't answer, he let out a low growl. "Answer the damn question, Lily."

"No, I haven't had a boyfriend on there for months. The guys on that game are bloody cheating bastards."

Thank fuck. She would have broken up with the guy if she'd had one. "Well, it is a sex game, Milaya. They are there for one reason, and one reason only. If you aren't giving them what they want, they move on."

"I don't do voice or video," she said. "I think that's part of it."

He nodded. He'd never thought of that, but then again, his same rule applied online as much as it did in real life. He never dated girls online either. He had lots of friends on there, but the girls he had sex with in-game stayed off his friends list.

"You shouldn't," he said. "They aren't just cheaters, Lily. Some of them are downright stalkers."

"I call them creepers because they creep me out."

He shook his head. Leave it to Lily to come up with a cute name for the weirdos who liked to stalk girls online. "Now, next question. I'm assuming you've had virtual sex on there?"

"Yes." The one word sounded low and almost torn from her. She was so embarrassed, and it was adorable.

"How long have you been a member?" he asked.

"Since our sophomore year."

That floored him. Two years on a sex game. She wasn't as innocent as he'd thought at first. Then again, virtual sex wasn't the same. "Do you touch yourself, Lily? When you're in the moment, do you touch yourself for them?"

"No." She shook her head. "I've never felt the need to do that with anyone. I just lie and say I do."

Again, her honesty shocked him. She'd been playing this game for two years and never so much as stroked herself? He shook his head this time. Time for his girl to understand the beauty of being touched. She'd been depriving herself for far too long.

"Well, Lily Bells, that is all about to change," he said, the grin on his face causing her eyes to widen. She knew him well. She knew he was up to something. "I have something planned for you."

"Look, you have a reputation to uphold on VSL." Nerves made her voice crack just a bit. "Won't chasing me there ruin that rep?"

"Have I ever cared what anyone thought of me, Lily? Why would it be any different there than here? Besides, you don't need to worry about that right now. I have other plans for you tonight."

She let out a low, strangled sound, like that of a trapped animal, and his grin widened. The waiter came, and he said no, they'd be skipping dessert. He asked for the check and just watched her.

Lily fidgeted in her seat. What was he up to? What plans? The look in his eyes made her want to run and never look back, but at the same time, she wanted to lean forward and demand to know what he was going to do to her. She waited while he paid the bill then collected her purse and let him usher her out to the car.