Tesoro

46 | Nightmare Of A Dream

My eyes shut, as I took a breath "Ross-"

"I know your heart" he spoke up, interrupting me "I know what you would do, or not do. I wouldn't jump to that conclusion, because you are not a stranger to me my love."

I swallowed the tears threatening to fall, but I couldn't hold them for long.

"I'm not a stranger" I murmured, as I felt a tear slip my eye "but I'm not your love... and we need to talk about this, because I wouldn't want to-"

Coming to a halt, I shook my head "I can't even say it. I don't want to believe it."

"I don't want to either" he sighted "But I agree, and.. I don't know what will happen with us, but just know.. I'll never love anyone else like I've loved you."

A sob escaped my throat, as I covered my face my hands.

Was this a dream? He couldn't possibly be saying this- entertaining my wildest fantasy. I would never think that he.. he..

he loved me?

My heart was beating out of my chest, as his hands wiped away my tears.

"I never planned on falling in love." he smiled- an emotional smile at that "I didn't think it was possible, but I'm not certain on how else to describe it. I can't eat. I can't sleep. You're all I think about, and god damn it it's a fucking disaster- because this wasn't supposed to happen. That baby is.. all I've ever wanted and at once, the last thing I needed."

My eyebrows narrowed, as I stared up at him. I didn't get to see this side of him often.

Emotional, vulnerable.. soft and genuine.

"Nightmare of a dream" I whispered, and he nodded, leaving out a heavy sigh, and leaning his face on my shoulder.

I wrapped my hands around his broad shoulders, pressing my lips to his neck "I love you too."

"I know you do." he whispered against my ear, making me smile slightly.

Once he pulled away, I stared into his eyes, biting my lip "I can just.. not carry it."

"That remains your choice." he whispered "But either way, after that incident - there's going to be some big changes around here. Good or bad."

I nodded, looking down at the white sheets I'd been covered with.

"I just never thought you'd think of it as merely a good thing." I murmured, before looking up at him.

"It's you." he murmured, and as his hand touched my belly "It's not so bad, because it's you. If I ever got the privilege of starting a family, I'd known it would be with you."

I took a deep breath, seeing his hand on my belly, and still, I couldn't believe it.

I was going to be a.. mom?

And as I looked up at him, I knew I was no longer starting at the man I loved, yet couldn't have.

I was staring back at the father of my baby.

,,,

The car ride was silent.

Nick was driving, with Camille on the passenger seat, while I sat in the back with Nadia, and Gema, resting my head on the glass of the window and watching the rain fall.

I had a big puffy jacket on, and mittens. It was quite cold, but New York looked pretty in the rain. I liked it.

Still my mind was boggled with too many thoughts at once.