malicious | max verstappen

forty four.

"No," I shook my head.

"Then what is it?"

"It's mostly because I–" I sucked in a deep breath, "I kissed you back." This was as close as I was getting to telling him the truth for today.

He looked at me with an exasperated and baffled expression. "Didn't we agree it was just for good luck?"

I deadpanned at him, "And do you really believe that?"

He fell silent.

"I'm not going to go through what I went through the first time round." I told him, "You have a girlfriend, and I wont accept being the reason why you cheat again. Plus, we're teammates this year– I can't risk fucking up, not once."

"I'm not— fuck." He huffed, "I'm not suggesting we do anything. I just want you to talk to me, like normal teammates would."

When I didn't reply and my eyes sank back to the floor, he continued, "Did your drunken speech mean nothing? Was it all lies?"

Immediately, my eyes shot right up to meet his.

"Of course not." The words tumbled out of my mouth without hesitation.

"Then, why does it feel like that?" He pondered.

"I–" I had no idea what to say.

"There's something going on with you, Elyse." The way he spoke so gently nearly hurt my ears because I knew I didn't deserve it.

I shut my eyes, and almost instantly, cold hands cupped my warm cheeks.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

I was too afraid to open my eyes at this moment. Knowing that just by seeing how he would be looking at me could make me spill everything that was threatening to leave my tongue...

Instead, with my eyes still shut, I put my hands over his, slowly pushing it down.

"I want to tell you." I told him, truthfully.

A disappointed yet frustrated sigh left Max's lips. His lips which I so desperately wanted to press against mine. His lips which I so desperately wanted to hear that everything was going to be alright, because as of right now— I had no idea if that was even remotely true.

"I really do." I finally opened my eyes to face his disappointment. "But I can't now."

He scoffed and shook his head, taking a step back.

"You're like... this unsolvable riddle that no matter how hard you try to solve it, you find yourself back to square one." His tone took a 360 from its previous gentleness, becoming a whole lot more harsh. "It's fucking exhausting."

I winced at his words.

And with that, he leaves.

I stay in the empty room for a while. I let his words eat me alive. I don't let myself cry.

Then I get up and leave, rejoining the world once again as if my heart wasn't in shambles and my eyes weren't ready to unleash their waterfalls.