Kingdom of Concrete (Nicholas Ruffilo/ Bad Omens)

7: Not alone

~Gemma's POV: ~



If I knew everyone would think I was fragile I would have tried better to fight for myself, but they weren't wrong. I was fragile, the next week in this bunker, home, what ever you wanted to call it was frustrating. They all would be huddled around Noah who was up and moving around back to his normal self even getting his training in with the others while I am stuck on the sidelines told I am not ready.
Sitting on the ground with my arms folded over my chest, it was hard not to glare in the general direction as the others trained, why I was being punished was beyond me.
Helen took a seat beside me on the ground, her hair tied back in a ponytail as she took a gulp of water from her bottle. "Glaring at him won't make him train you any faster" she said looking in the direction of my gaze.

"I don't get it; Noah was in that room with me for five weeks and he gets to train while I am stuck on the sidelines?"

Helen patted my leg. "Noah is also their leader, and they know telling him no would do worse then good because he won't listen. I am sure Nicholas will resume your training soon" she put her bottle to the side before getting to her feet.

Puffing out air I held in my cheeks, I rose to my feet dusting off the leggings I wore. "I am going to go for a walk, I'll see you soon" it would be for lunch.
Helen nodded her head as I headed out the door, hearing the grunts of the guy's training from the room behind me. I had met a few people the guys trusted down here, some of them I didn't like as much but majority of them were sweet as ever. Since we were classed as in hiding, Luke was running Helen's shop as best as he could, even working alongside the guys to help make sure we remained hidden.
Glancing at the hatch we entered that night, I looked around to see if anyone was nearby—I hadn't been outside since the night Noah and I escaped from my father.
Seeing no one was around I climbed up the ladder, unlocking the hatch and swinging it open enough for me to feel the cold air slam against my face.

Once I was outside, I left the hatch door open as I wrapped my arms around me. The cold weather was in full effect here but of course there would be no snow, we mainly had rainy winters. Breathing in the air, I took in my surroundings since there was enough light now where I could see around me.
We were on what looked like a hill, I could see the concrete jungle off in the distance which told me were just outside the city limits, this was a place I knew my father wouldn't come. It was a grey area for him.

Drizzles of rain hit my skin creating goosebumps. Even if I was freezing I didn't want to go inside just yet, this reminded me I was alive and part of me needed that. Every single night I have been haunted by the dream of Ben torturing me after finishing with Noah and when he said he was almost done he would bring in Nicholas which always had me thrashing myself awake.
"Gemma?!" turning I saw Nicholas climb out of the hatch, his skin coated in a sheen of sweat as his messy hair was tied in a bun on top of his head loosely. "What are you doing out here? You shouldn't be out here alone" he was sounding annoyed, and with how he has been babying me this past while, it was almost a breath of fresh air to hear that tone in his voice once more.

He looked around making sure there was no danger near. "I needed air, I can't keep doing this Nick" he furrowed his brows. "I am living the same day repeatedly down there where it feels like you all are dancing around me, Noah was in that cell-room too, he endured what I endured yet he gets to live normally while I am stuck trying my best to get you guys to even train me. This isn't just your guy's fight, I am in this too" the wind blew hair in front of my face, sticking to my lips as I brushed it away.

Nick seemed to take a moment to absorb those words. "You're right, I'm sorry" this time it was my turn to be surprised. "We been so focused on trying to protect you I forgot that a good way is to teach you how to protect yourself in case something like that were to ever happen again, we were so worried you were going to shut down because you haven't told us what happened to you in those five weeks" my body cringed at the memory of Ben's hands on me, and how Noah was drugged during that time.

"it's not important" my voice was low as I wrapped my arms around myself once more.

Stepping up to me, Nick tilted my chin up towards him. "But it is Gemma, what you went through wasn't easy. Noah told us what he went through, but you are leaving us in the dark. We can't help you if we don't know, does it mean you need to tell us right now? No, but Gemma" he took another step, so our bodies were against one another, "don't close us out, don't do this alone" his eyes softened as he looked over my face.

My heart raced in my chest as the heat of his body engulfed me. "You have no idea what I went through" my voice was soft as my gaze remained on him, the wind whipping my hair in my face more.

Nicholas brushed the hair from my face, "then let me in, Nyx." His voice sounded like a plea, as if he were desperate to try and find a way for me to let him in.

The breaking of my heart was real, but I gulped down my emotions- blinking away the memory and looking at him. He seemed to notice, something he's done himself many times. "We should get back inside, it's cold out here" I said softly leading him back into the bunker.

Nicholas grabbed my arm once we were down there—not thinking, I turned fist raised to strike as the memory of Ben invaded my mind, but he was fast and caught my wrist, breathing heavily I looked at Nicholas who didn't even seem phased at the fact I nearly just punched him. His blue eyes bore into mine, "don't do this alone" he said softly shaking his head, "we start your training tomorrow." He brushed past me heading back down the hall.
It was hard to let someone in, how could I show him what happened to me when I didn't even want to remember what happened.