Charlotte

Chapter Ten

A/N: I made a booboo in the timeline of things, so I've gone back and fixed them. They are supposed to be leaving the academy the day after Christmas, not leaving the resort the day after Christmas. Nothing too substantial was messed with, so you don't need to go back and re-read it if you don't want to. I just had to adjust a few sentences for continuity. Thanks for all your support in this journey! How do you all like the way the relationships are being developed? Do you think it's blending well as they discover what each of them want? 

Enjoy! 

"I kissed him," Rose said as she sat down next to me in the cafeteria at lunch time. Her voice was void of emotion, like she expected me to blow up at her. My fork did stop halfway up to my mouth, but I closed my mouth around it a second later and chewed my spaghetti slowly. 

"Okay," I said, not sure what else to say. I'd expected it when I walked away. I couldn't say that I didn't feel anything...but I still couldn't find it in me to be mad. 

"Okay? That's all you have to say about it?" 

I picked up my garlic bread and scooped up the tomato sauce before tearing a bite out of it and shrugging my shoulders. I chewed and swallowed and Rose eyed me warily and I took a drink of water. I sighed. "I knew you guys had feelings for each other. I knew what would happen when I left. I'm not mad, Rose, really. You can't help how you feel...any more than I can." 

"What are you saying?" 

I sigh again and stand up, picking my tray up as I went and jerking my head in an indication for her to follow me. She did and watched as I dumped and returned my tray. I led her over to an empty classroom down the hall from the cafeteria. I closed the door behind us and turned to her. 

"Look, Rose. I don't want to ruin our friendship. I don't know how to share a guy, or if you'd even be open to that. I've never done it before...but it isn't just him that I like..." she waited as I gathered my thoughts. Her brows were up in her hairline though, and she didn't look like she knew whether or not she wanted to cross her arms over her chest, put her hands on her hips, and let them rest in front of her. 

I fumbled for words and eventually looked her in her eyes. "I love you both...as...more than friends. Well, I don't know if its love. But I think it is." I'd come to that conclusion last night when Dimitri had fallen asleep and I'd layed awake thinking about the past year and a half. How I'd started thinking about her more often, how everything always came back to Rose. How I'd started looking at her and calling her beautiful. 

I was with her all the time, and when I wasn't, I wanted to be. I sought her out in every room I walked into, right along with me seeking out Dimitri. I thought about how I couldn't stay angry with her, and the jealousy I felt around her and Mason, and her and Dimitri, really...either of them with anyone that wasn't me. Insecurity washed over me as she looked back at me like a deer caught in headlights. 

I shouldn't have told her. It was too soon. God, I'm such an idiot! I held my breath, waiting for her to say something...anything. 

"Wow, um," Rose finally said, her eyes looking everywhere but at me. I felt my stomach sink. "This is...a lot to take in...I should get...to class." 

I nod as she moves to walk around me to the door. She opens it and stops. "Charlie..." 

I look up. 

"Thanks." 

And then she's gone, closing the door behind her and leaving me feeling like I'd swallowed something too big to get down. I bit my lip, trying to keep my tears at bay and trying to rationalize. It wasn't calming me down, so I decided school didn't matter to me at all, and I ran. I ran all the way back to my room and I threw myself under my blankets, and I cried until I fell asleep.