No Words Needed

All My Love

Today was the Queen's luncheon, and knowing that Eloise would be there seemed almost unbearable for Penelope. She was a shaking mess of nerves, which she knew because her Mama had scolded her three times on her bouncing knees and fidgeting hands during the carriage ride over. Prudence shot her sister a look of sympathy but wiped it away when Portia turned her head. Grateful. Penelope supposed she did have some things to be grateful for now. She had her sister, at least for now, and Colin. All she had to do was get through this day.

Fate it seemed had other plans for Penelope, because not even two minutes after arriving, who should she run into but the last person she wanted to see? Or who wanted to see her.

"Miss Featherington," Eloise greeted formally, clearing her throat loudly and taking a sip of her lemonade.

"El!" Penelope exclaimed, then corrected herself when she saw the look of utter disdain on her former friend's face. How could you go from growing up with someone to becoming this unfamiliar in just a year? "Miss Bridgerton. How have things been?"

Eloise, unlike Cressida Cowper, did not even try to hide her sneer. "Well, now that you mention it, a friend of mine that I thought I could trust more than anyone in the world suddenly turned out to be a complete stranger. And now I must suffer through letter after letter of her empty apologies and useless explanations," she explained coldly. "They're an excellent use for rekindling a fire, I must say."

"Oh. I...I understand," Penelope replied, fighting the urge to cry. They stood in silence by the refreshments, neither saying a word, allowing the tense air to surround them. Finally, Penelope said, "I'm sure your friend would want you to know that you are still the most important person in the world to her, and she would give anything to have you back."

"Is that so?" Eloise said with a scoff. "She has a funny way of showing it."

"Eloise, please," Penelope begged, turning her body towards her and trying to look into her eyes. "I really would do anything. I'm giving it up. You saw the last publication, didn't you? And you read the letters? I meant every word of all of them. I don't want to give up on us."

"Perhaps you should," Eloise stated, though it didn't hold as much bitterness as before. She finally turned to face Penelope too, but didn't look up. "I can't even look at you the same anymore, Penelope. All I see is what you've done, what you've said. Even if I wanted to forgive you, it's different now. We can't go back to what it was," she whispered.

I'm saying too much, but you know how it gets out here. No winter coat could keep out all the cold of your atmosphere.

"We don't have to go back, Eloise," Penelope said pleadingly, urging her to reconsider. "We can move forward. I want to move forward, with you. We can grow and change together. I can learn to be a better friend to you. You can learn to trust me again. It doesn't have to be the same as before. Please just give me a chance to show you. Please, El." Her eyes threatened to spill over, but she willed the tears to fade. Strong. She needed to be strong.

After what felt like an eternity, Eloise's gray eyes met Penelope's blue ones. The expression was heartbreaking. "I...I want to Penelope, but I don't know how. I am sorry about the horrible things I said to you, and some of what I just said now. But you lied to me. All this time, you made me out to be a fool." She paused, then added, "And I can't overlook the other people's lives that you've ruined with scandal."

Now I know your name but not who you are.

Penelope swallowed, squeezing her glass tighter as if it would relieve some of the pressure weighing on her chest. "I know. And I'm not saying it's right. I am proud of how I did all of this on my own, but I'm not proud of everything I've written. I have regrets, most of all what I wrote about your family, and Marina. There's nothing I can say to fix what I've broken."