ꜱᴘʀɪɴɢ ʀᴀɪɴ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ᴅʀᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ✧ ʜᴀɴɴɪ ᴘʜᴀᴍ

Chapter 36

I still remember we were talking about the things we enjoyed doing and one by one, the others mentioned the things they love doing then came my turn. I was a bit embarrassed at first to tell the group about my desire in writings and poetries.

But in the end I said it anyways and I could remember a couple of them were amused, somehow a bit mocking and found the thing I love was not that grand and awesome like theirs. But not you. I still remember you got closer to me and asked me what poetry books have I read.

When I said that I haven't got the chance to get one, I expected you to laugh it off but you didn't. Instead you offered to go to the book store together and get me a poetry book. I remember it as clear as day of the way you smiled at me even though I've already known you since we're kids.

Your face was glowing, radiating from the camp fire which at that point somehow made my heart's beating unusually fast despite spending my entire childhood to my teenage years with you. Hanni at that point, at that exact moment, I thought to myself that if I want to write poems, then I will write it about you because knowing that in every great poet has their own muse and I somehow willing to bet my life that I've found mine in you and I was right. 

I remember that calm night, I listened to you, laughing, joking along with you and how in the end you somehow gave me a smile, the same smile I've seen all my life but somehow there's just this hint of spark, lightened up inside my heart and even though it was faint but it made me realized, that that was the moment I fell in love with you."

Hanni had to let the letter down on her table as she's letting the tears dropping down her eyes but this time it was joyous tears as she covered her lips with her palm. As she's sobbing, the tears kept on running down her eyes but for the first time since a while, Hanni's crying herself yet feeling peaceful inside.

As if she's finally letting go of all the worries and burdens that she's been shouldering for a while and as soon as she felt it lifted off her shoulders, all she's feeling was relief and calmness. And at that moment was when Hanni finally realized that she's healing, rather it be slowly but she knew that it'll be worth the wait as healing takes time.

Wiping off her tears, she let out a light chuckle in between her sniffs. "You're one lucky girl Hanni... if only you've noticed things a lot earlier...he's been suffering because you just couldn't see him beyond friendship before..." She whispered to herself. "...but yet again, I am just a human after all." Hanni grabbed onto the letter back as she got to the second paper.

"Hanni from that moment, from that night at the campfire, you became a cherished chapter in my story. A chapter filled with laughter and countless beautiful moments. You are more than just a friend to me. You're my best friend and your presence in my life has brought a kind of happiness that I never thought possible.

By your side, I found comfort and safety. Your laughter is music to my ears and your amazing smile can brighten even the gloomiest of my days. Your presence has a way of making everything feel right, every challenge seems conquerable and every moment with you turns into treasured memories.

Your kindness, your playfulness and the way you understand me have shown me what it means for me to love you unconditionally. You've brought out the best version of me and I'm glad that I grew up a better person because of my love for you.

God, I loved everything about you, maybe too much, I know. But Hanni... How could I not love that gummy smile of yours, that infectious laugh, those dark brown eyes of yours, your sense of humour and the way you would easily make me laugh by doing the simplest of things and your passion for the things you love and desired. How could I not love you if you were everything I've ever wanted but got away from me...